“Fuck off,” she teases, lifting the middle finger closest to me in the air.
“Eggs are almost ready,” Arlo announces. “Toast done?”
“Done, and bacon is on the table,” I reply. “Rosie, grab some plates and silverware.”
“On it,” Rosie says, rising from her chair and grabbing everything we need.
Luna reaches into the cabinet for the pills, resting her body on the edge of the counter for balance. “You’re all moving too fast.”
“The world is moving too fast for you today, babe. Have some bacon and toast if you can’t stomach the eggs. The protein and carbs will be good for you.”
“I need coffee to wash down these pills,” she states.
Arlo looks over at her, moving the eggs around the pan. “You should use water.”
All three of us stare at her in silence.
“What?” she asks, looking at each of us. “That’s what the bottle says.”
“Ar, no one follows the directions. Liquid is liquid,” Rosie informs her.
“I follow the directions,” Arlo replies.
“Shocking,” Rosie teases on a whisper as she heads back to the table with plates, forks, and napkins. “So does my mom, but no one else.”
“Do you take them with water?” Arlo asks me.
I shake my head. “I grab whatever is closest.”
Arlo gawks at me. “For real?”
“Yeah, babe. I’m a dude, too. We’re not going to stop for some water. We’re going to grab whatever and choke those pills down.”
She blinks, her mouth hanging open.
“Arlo, you’re way too grown up for Carmello,” Rosie tells her, setting the table. “He may look old, but he’s not fully grown.”
“I don’t look old,” I correct her. “I’m not fucking old.”
Rosie laughs. “Cousin, you’re in your thirties.”
“I’m thirty-one, not in them.”
“You are, but not deep. Still makes you middle-aged.”
It’s my turn to blink, jerking my head back. “What the hell, kid? I give you a place to stay and breakfast, and you have to throw shade my way?”
“Oh, stop. Thirty isn’t old. I think the guy Luna was flirting with last night was older than you.”
“Oh boy,” Arlo whispers.
I turn my gaze to Luna, and my eyes immediately narrow. “What. The. Fuck?”
Luna shrugs before jamming two pills into her mouth and washing them down with coffee. She mumbles, the words not audible behind the mug.
I point the butter knife at Rosie and then Luna. “Thirty is way too old for either of you. Stick to your own age group.”
“Have you been around twenty-year-old men lately?” Rosie asks as she slides back into her chair.
“Just the ones who come into the shop and the others in our family. Besides them, no,” I tell her honestly.
“They suck. Like not a little suck, but suck hard. All they care about is gaming, and they’re broke as fuck. I ain’t about to sit on the couch all night, playing video games or watching them play video games. And besides that, I want a man who’s going to treat me like a queen, and so does Luna.”
“I’m sure you could’ve found your Prince Charming at the caves last night, right?”
Rosie rolls her eyes at me. “You’re being an asshole again.”
I touch my chest, pretending to be hurt. “Babe, all guys are assholes. If you think otherwise, you’re mistaken. Who in our family who has a dick isn’t an asshole?”
She taps her lip, glaring at me as I carry the toast to the table. “No one,” she mutters. “But I’m not giving up on mankind just yet.”
“You’re in for a big letdown.”
“Then why do people get married?”
“Because they find the one asshole they can put up with on a daily basis. You just have to find the right asshole for you, with the knowledge that he, too, is an asshole, no matter how sweet he seems at the beginning.”
“Arlo, do you know Carmello’s an asshole?”
Arlo chuckles as she slides the scrambled eggs into a bowl. “I know he is, but he’s super sweet too. I don’t see his asshole side too often.”
“I’m good at hiding it,” I whisper to Rosie, giving her a wink. “Suck her in with the sweet first.”
“God, I hate men,” Luna says, coming to sit next to her sister. “You guys really are all assholes who only think with your dicks.”
“Basically,” I tell her. “The sooner you accept that as fact, the better off you’ll be. Always be leery of the nice ones. They’re wolves in sheep’s clothing.”