want to talk about sex or dicks with Aunt Fran and Uncle Bear. “Thanks for the great advice,” I tell her and him, although he hasn’t added much to the conversation.
“The way to a woman’s heart isn’t just by listening to them talk and giving them attention. You got to give them the good dick and lots of orgasms. It’s amazing how many assholes can’t find a clit to save their own life. Orgasms make you memorable.”
I look around, hoping someone’s nearby to save me from this awkward and uncomfortable conversation with my aunt and uncle, but there’s no one. “I’ll remember this conversation for the rest of my life,” I grumble.
Bear laughs. “Just keeping shit real.”
“And awkward,” I whisper.
Aunt Fran laughs, patting my stomach. “You’ve had it easy far too long, Carmello. The real test of a man is when he has it hard, and we’re about to see what you’re really made of, baby. Fight the good fight.”
“Have you two dipped into the wine early today?” I ask her.
She tips her head back and laughs. “I won’t lie. I’ve had two glasses, but you know I never have a filter even when I’m one hundred percent sober.”
“I like your mouth most of all, baby,” Bear tells her.
I somehow hold in the vomit that’s about to crawl up my throat. There’s a difference when it comes to talking about sex with my cousins and the elders of the family. I know they’ve had sex or else none of us would be here, but it’s not something I really let myself soak in or put much thought into because it’s just too much. “I think Arlo needs me outside.”
“Sure, baby,” Aunt Fran says, finally moving toward her husband. “You go get that girl, and don’t let her go without a fight. Dickmatize her.”
“Dickmatize. Got it,” I say, walking toward the sliding glass doors, thankful that conversation is over.
I’ve dickmatized more than a few women over the years. None of them I wanted, but they got a taste and wanted more. But how am I going to dickmatize Arlo without having sex?
Orgasms. Lots of orgasms.
16
“You locked that shit down quick,” Pike says as I sit down at the table on the lanai after dinner. “Quicker than I thought possible.”
Gigi smiles as her gaze moves to Arlo and Lily huddled together, talking on the other side of the patio. “Even a man as experienced as Carmello can pull his head out of his ass eventually.”
“Thanks,” I mumble sarcastically, turning a beer bottle in my hand, keeping my gaze pinned on the ladies.
“I’m proud of you. Today was a big step,” she adds. “You’ve never brought anyone here, so that says a lot about how you feel and your intentions.”
“We’re new, Gigi. I’m not putting a ring on her finger or anything.”
“Not soon, at least,” Gigi replies.
“One family dinner doesn’t mean marriage.”
“No,” she says, shaking her head. “It doesn’t, but it’s a step in the right direction. You’ve never brought any of your other bimbos here, and I know Arlo and she’s absolutely perfect for you.”
Tamara rolls her eyes. “Have you found your way into Arlo’s pants yet, Mello?”
“No,” I snap, lifting the beer to my lips, feeling dirty talking about Arlo without her around. “And it’s none of your business.”
Tamara sits up straighter with a smile on her lips. “Ooh. I like this side of you. You finally sound like your father.”
I growl, and Tamara laughs along with Mammoth, Pike, and Gigi. Jett is weirdly quiet, busy typing on his phone.
“Why are you silent?” I ask him from across the table.
He shrugs. “I don’t know, man. I really like Arlo and…”
“You think I’m playing a game?”
He pushes his sunglasses up on his head, finally giving me his eyes. “I think you are. One taste and you’re going to be out the door so fucking fast, you won’t look back. You’re going to really hurt that girl, and she doesn’t deserve your kind of bullshit.”
“That’s rich. Is the pot calling the kettle black?”
His lip snarls. “Lily and I had history, and I wasn’t pretending with your cousin, nor were we forced together. I knew once I crossed that bridge, there was no turning back. Our families were too intertwined for me to walk out of her life. I worry Arlo will want to tell you to fuck off but won’t be able to do it.”
“She’s had no problem so far,” I reassure him.
“Do you know about her past? About how she was brought