Sinful Ever After - Vivian Wood Page 0,65

from the ground. It’s fully dark now, the moon rising in the window just over her shoulder. She faces me as she gathers her purse, shrugging. “It’s our secret. I’m not going to tell anyone, Aiden. Especially not Grayson. I hope you know that I would never do that.”

She looks so disappointed right now, it’s almost unbearable. I move to grab her again, but this time she dodges my touch. I am frustrated by her movements.

If I can just explain myself, make myself clear, then maybe she’ll understand.

“Olivia—”

“Seriously, Aiden,” she interrupts. “I do get it. You’re Grayson’s best friend. And we never said there would be any strings attached. Just… you know, stick to what you’re good at.”

She walks away then, leaving me staring at her as she starts walking out of my bedroom.

What does she mean, what I’m good at? And why does every single one of those statements sound like an accusation?

Looking out of the window, I wrinkle my brow. It’s funny how I was worried about hurting her feelings, yet now I’m left feeling a little bruised. God, the disappointment on her face a minute ago is just a faint echo of the many disappointments I’ve caused my whole life.

Her face is the same as countless other women. The same as so many of my teachers. The same as my father’s, in the seconds before it turned to something meaner.

God, why am I such a disappointment to everyone I care about?

Fuck.

Fuck.

I rush outside, needing to feel the coolness of the ocean against my skin again. Quietly slipping back down to the shore, I am living entirely inside my head. I let the cold water rush up to my feet, chilling me to the bone within a few waves. Looking out over the dark water, I want to throw back my head and yell at the black night sky.

Who have I not let down in my life?

The answer comes without me having to even search for it.

Grayson.

He’s my best friend, which means something to me. But he’s also the one person that I have stuck with through thick and thin, through health and sickness. I’ve never managed to alienate him.

Not until now, I guess. Fuck!

I run both my hands through my hair, bowing my head. If he ever finds out that I fucked his little sister, he will just… I don't know. Probably be done with me, at the very least.

I shouldn’t have fucked her. I know it.

But then I think of the way she looked at me just before, when we were pressed together. She peered up at me with those very blue eyes and spoke ever so softly about how much she needed me…

God damn. In my whole life, I have never wanted anything the way I wanted her. I wanted to bottle that need up and survive on it for the rest of my life.

No one has ever needed me before, not the way that Olivia does. Thinking about that, I can’t really say I would do anything differently if given the same options again. It just sucks that the only girl I want… the only one who needs me… is also Grayson’s little sister.

Blowing a breath out through my nose and mouth at once, I turn back toward the shore. Stopping to pick up my shoes, I carefully pick my way up to the road. Carter is just emerging from the driveway where the party was held as I step onto the blacktop.

He glares at me, crossing his arms. “Where is Olivia?”

I shrug nonchalantly, but that’s not how I actually feel. “I don't know.”

That much is true, although I can guess. She didn’t go back to the party, so there is only one place she would be at this time of night.

Carter tilts his head. “I’m going to her apartment to check on her.”

I purse my lips. I really wish he wouldn’t, but then again I want someone to check on her. And it damned well can’t be me. So I shrug again.

“Suits me. I’m headed there myself, to go to bed.”

Another half-truth. I’m probably going to go back to my apartment and drown my sorrows in whiskey. But Carter and I don't know each other enough to say that, so I don't. I start walking that direction anyway.

Carter falls in alongside me, glancing at me. “What’s with you? Did you guys get into it or something?”

“Or something,” I say. I pick up the pace, wanting the trip to be over already. Carter seems