I opt for a sanitized version of the truth. “Mom. I’m here now. I don’t want to be anywhere else, because you are my priority.”
I let out a slow exhale, relieved that my voice sounds as calm as I hoped it would. I pat her hand. “I’m going to get a coffee. I’ll be right back.”
When she looks up at me, I spot a hint of understanding in her eyes. Maybe it was never my dream to run a food truck at nearly thirty with my mom. But this is my life. I chose it. I’m working hard to succeed in this new path. I’m making my own way now. I’m happy with the independence I’ve forged and the fact that I can spend more time with her. And I hope that when I tell her that, she’ll believe me.
I slip out of the room and head for the cafeteria. Hurried footsteps trail behind me. I turn and see Callum.
“Mrs. Tokushige had to leave to go be with her family, but she wanted me to tell you that she’ll visit tomorrow to check up on your mum.” He grabs my hand in his. “Is she okay?”
I fill him in on her ulcers and her anemia diagnosis, as well as the fact that she’s been lying to me about being diabetic.
“Fucking hell,” he mutters.
“That’s a more succinct and colorful reaction than mine, but that’s how I felt on the inside.”
We walk to the cafeteria, and Callum buys me the biggest coffee they have.
“Thanks,” I say when he hands it to me. I stop a few doors down from Mom’s hospital room. “I just can’t believe she would lie to me about this. And for her to say she did it because I try to control her life, that’s just insane.”
Callum pulls his lips into his mouth. His eyes dart everywhere but me.
“What?”
He shakes his head. “I think she may have a point, Nikki.”
I stop mid-sip. “Excuse me?”
“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but all I’m saying is that I can sympathize a bit with what your mum is saying.”
I take a long sip of the muddy water that somehow passes off as hospital coffee.
He clears his throat. “I’m not saying what she did was right. It wasn’t. It was dangerous, and she absolutely shouldn’t have hidden it from you. But you can be pretty fierce and intimidating sometimes. I can understand why she was scared to tell you.”
Something in my chest tightens and drops to my feet. A familiar guardedness creeps back inside me. It’s that same feeling that used to consume me when we spent our first few weeks of acquaintance arguing and sabotaging each other.
“What are you talking about?”
His eyebrows pinch together. “Nikki, please don’t get defensive.”
I shake my head and start to walk forward, but he lays a gentle hand on my forearm, stopping me.
“Do you think I wasn’t paying attention all this time that we’ve been parked side by side? You made your mum take days off work. You were so diligent about her taking breaks every single day.” He runs his other hand through his hair. “Even when I would come over to your house those nights when we . . .”
An elderly woman in a walker passes by us in the hallway. We fall silent and flash her dual polite smiles.
Callum waits until she’s out of earshot before he starts speaking again. “Even on those nights your mum was gone from your place, you made sure she was doing some activity that you thought was good for her.”
“And what’s wrong with that?” I yank my arm from his grip. “I care about my mom, Callum. I want her to be safe and healthy. That makes me a bad person somehow?”
“No, that’s not—of course you’re not a bad person, Nikki. You’re one of the best people I know.”
Warmth surges up my chest, a direct counter to the anger mowing over my insides.
“All I’m saying is that you should try to understand what your mum was thinking when she made the decision to hide that from you. Maybe if you ease up a bit, she’ll be more open with you.”
“‘Ease up’? Callum, I really don’t need to be lectured by you.”
My hard tone echoes softly against the hallway walls. Just like that, any semblance of warmth inside me evaporates into thin air.
“I admit, I’m protective of my mom, but she’s literally all I have. Remember?”
My voice breaks on the last syllable of “remember.”