I close my eyes and breathe in the salty sea air wafting through my open bedroom window. I could never, ever do such a thing.
Could I?
Instead of scolding myself internally like I normally would when a bad idea crosses my mind, I let it unfold. Maybe indulging in one lustful, purely carnal moment wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. No one is holding me to these ridiculous standards other than myself. It’s not like anyone would ever know that I pleasured myself with impure thoughts of my enemy. I wouldn’t tell anyone.
Men do this sort of thing all the time. Why the hell can’t I?
I adjust the pillow behind my back and eye the drawer of my nightstand. May as well give it a shot.
I pull out my vibrator and press it against the crotch of my panties. I don’t even bother to lower the fabric. At this point, I’m so hot that not even a chastity belt could quell the flames inside me. Days of Callum’s naked image bombarding me combined with the sweet memory of him cuddling Lemon have had quite an effect.
I close my eyes and lean back. Already I’m trembling.
I switch it to the highest setting. This will be quick and dirty. Nothing lingering or sweet about it.
The vibrations hit, and immediately my toes curl, my jaw drops, and I’m moaning up a storm. Thank Christ Mom is sleeping with the fan on high in her room due to tonight’s heat wave. Fingers crossed it will muffle any and all background sounds.
Callum’s face flashes across the darkness of my eyelids. Those hazel-green eyes, the ski-slope slant of his nose, that jawline sharp enough to cut diamonds. That mouth with those lips, thick lips I’d give anything to bite right about now.
Pressure builds from within my core, and I gasp. Holy shit, I’m nearly there. And it’s barely been a minute.
I pull my hand away and gulp for air. This time I press gently and think of his body. All those hard lines and dense muscle, that warm-hued skin. That surprise between his legs . . . I mean, I should have known. Judging by his height and build, it’s only logical that he’s packing something impressive. But to see it in person, literally feet from my face, is a whole other . . .
I gasp. More pressure, more warmth in my midsection. This is a brand-new level of intensity. With each vibration that rattles through me, I’m pulled closer to the finish line. I’m panting now, aching for the end.
Good God, how is this possible? How is just the visual of Callum’s naked body doing this to me? I can’t stand this guy. Like, would-trade-one-of-my-body-organs-for-the-opportunity-to-punch-his-face type of dislike. But what he does to me physically is unlike anything I’ve experienced before.
I’m not one to fantasize about men I know in real life when I pleasure myself. The thought has always creeped me out. But Callum is the one exception. Because right now, just the thought of him has gotten me hotter faster than the thought of any other man on this planet.
Finally, it hits.
My stomach muscles clench, my calves cramp, and my head falls back. I’m shrieking and moaning at once, in between ragged gulps of air. All I see are white bursts. Stars, I think. Callum has sent me to outer space.
When I collapse back onto the blanket, I let out a pitiful squeal. I’m blinking nonstop because I can’t see clearly. A full minute of panting follows.
That was . . . I have no idea what that was. No self-pleasure session has ever, ever gone that well, that intensely, that quickly in my life.
When my breathing falls back to a seminormal pace, I’m finally able to get my bearings. Every pillow is now on the floor. My sheets lie in a tangled heap underneath me. The hem of my tank top is bunched all the way above my belly button, and my panties are halfway off my hips. Even though there’s no one here to see any of this, I still blush. I’ve managed to make the aftermath of my solo session look like two sex-starved individuals went at it. Go me.
I chuck my vibrator back into the nightstand drawer like it’s on fire. When I crouch down to check on Lemon under the bed, she slow-blinks at me. Clearly, I woke her up.