leaving me an orphan, she would’ve killed herself after he died. But the truth was, she did kill herself; it just took her longer to die than she’d planned.”
“I’m sorry, Dinah. I truly am. After livin’ in an orphanage, I saw that options were different for girl orphans than boys. When they kicked us out at age thirteen? Some girls became brides the next damn day.”
“A couple of girls in my school got married at sixteen. When I mentioned my…I don’t want to say disgust at that prospect, my mother turned mean.”
“Why?”
She shrugged. “Maybe because she believed I sneered at her choice to marry that young, which wasn’t true. But when I tried to explain how I felt, she said I needn’t worry about marriage since no man wanted a know-it-all shrew in his bed.”
Silas shook his head. “Did you remind her that if you got married she’d be on her own?”
“No. I thought of a dozen mean things I could’ve said back, but…how would that’ve helped either of us? And she was proud that I’d passed the ‘normal school’ teaching test on my first try. Unfortunately there weren’t teaching jobs in Cheyenne. I hadn’t pursued other options outside of the area while my mother was alive, but after she died, I wanted a fresh start. Rather than take Mr. Jones’ offer of marriage—”
“Whoa. Hold on there. Your father’s friend wanted to marry you?”
Dinah wrinkled her nose. “Yes. But I said no.”
“But he could’ve taken care of you and you wouldn’t have had to struggle at all.”
Her eyes were full of fire when she looked at him. “Exactly. I did not want to be my mother. Ever. Perhaps it is horrible to say, but I was so angry at her, Silas, for not knowing how to do anything. That meant I didn’t know how to do anything either because she couldn’t teach me. I’m proud of what I learned on my own. I swore I’d learn everything I needed to take care of myself, so I’d never be stuck relying on a husband. That’s why I said no to marrying him.”
“Is that the only reason?”
“No. He was old.”
He struggled between laughing and getting well and truly pissed off. “And?”
“And I hated that he didn’t plan to court me. We’d be married—just like that. It felt as if he believed he was doing me a favor by marrying me.”
“I’m sure he made you feel that way, while he was prolly thinkin’, Yippee! I’m gonna have this beautiful woman under me every night and twice on Sundays.”
Dinah laughed. “Maybe he did offer for me because he was just a randy old goat.”
“He would’ve been ruttin’ on you day and night, darlin’, trust me. Anyway, keep goin’. I wanna hear the part about you not bein’ a ‘real’ teacher.”
“I’m getting there.” She began to pluck at the grass again and he let her. “Schools as far away as Grand Junction, Colorado advertised for teachers in the Cheyenne paper. I was willing to go anywhere but I was aware frontier schools paid better. First part of May I saw Doc’s ad for a ‘new’ school in Crook County. Room and board provided with him and his wife, plus transportation costs for me and a limited amount of household goods. The bottom of the ad also indicated extra income was available for teacher candidates with nursing experience.” She paused. “I might’ve broken a finger I wrote a response so fast. I posted the letter that same day. I might’ve bragged a bit in that I’d been my mother’s sole caretaker for years. I heard back from Doc, offering me the job, and asking if I could start right away.”
“But…ain’t school already out in May?”
“Yes. He was upfront that he needed my help as his nursing assistant until school started in August. I packed up and hopped on the train. Doc met me, settled me in my room in his house. Immediately I realized that his wife was in poor enough shape she couldn’t do any household chores.”
“Did that make you mad?”
“It made me…aware that if I didn’t stand my ground from the start that Mrs. Agnes would be a repeat of what I’d gone through with my mother. I told Doc that I’d do all the cooking, cleaning and household tasks, if I didn’t have to answer to—or wait on or be a caretaker to—his wife. He agreed. He never asked if I had experience growing a garden. Or milking a cow. Or putting up