The Silver Linings Playbook - By Matthew Quick Page 0,30
high in the air.
We float up.
We float down.
We are so happy.
We are so, so happy.
But then I hear someone screaming.
"Pat! Pat! Paaaaaaat!"
I turn and see that Veronica is running very quickly down the beach, with Tiffany trailing far behind. I worry that maybe something is wrong, so I start to make my way in.
The waves are pretty big now, and I have to take Emily down from my shoulders and hold her against my chest to ensure her safety, but soon we are able to negotiate our way back to Veronica, who is now running into the surf.
When I get closer, Veronica seems to be very upset. Emily starts to scream and reach for her mother.
"What the hell are you doing?" Veronica says to me when I hand Emily over to her.
"I'm just swimming with Emily," I say.
Veronica's screaming must have woken up Ronnie, because he has run down to meet us. "What happened?"
"You let Pat take Emily out into the ocean?" Veronica says, and by the way she says my name, it's obvious she does not want Emily to be left alone with me, because she thinks I am going to hurt Emily somehow, which is unfair - especially since Emily only started crying when she heard Veronica screaming, so really Veronica was the one who upset her own daughter.
"What did you do to her?" Ronnie says to me.
"Nothing," I say. "We were only swimming."
"What were you doing?" Veronica says to Ronnie.
"I must of fallen asleep, and - "
"Jesus Christ, Ronnie. You left Emily alone with him?"
The way Veronica says "him," Emily crying, Ronnie accusing me of doing something awful to his daughter, the sun burning my bare chest and back, Tiffany watching now - suddenly I feel as though I might explode. I definitely feel an episode coming on, so before I blow up, I do the only thing I can think of: I start running down the beach away from Veronica and Ronnie and Emily and the crying and the accusations. I run as fast as I can, and suddenly I realize that now I am crying, probably because I was only swimming with Emily and it felt so right and I was trying to be good and thought I was being good and I let my best friend down and Veronica screamed at me and it's not fair because I have been trying so hard and how long can this fucking movie last and how much more do I need to improve myself and -
Tiffany passes me.
She runs by me like a blur.
Suddenly, only one thing matters: I need to pass her.
I start running faster and catch up to her, but she picks up her speed and we run side by side for a time until I find that gear women do not have, and I blow by her and maintain my man speed for a minute or so before I slow down and allow her to catch up with me. We jog side by side on the beach for a long time, neither of us saying a word.
What feels like an hour passes before we turn around, and what feels like another hour passes before we see Ronnie and Veronica's umbrella, but before we reach them, Tiffany veers into the ocean.
I follow her - running directly into the waves - and the salt water feels so cool on my skin after a long run. Soon we are in too deep to stand, and Tiffany's head is floating over the waves, which have calmed down considerably. Her face is a little tan and her hair hangs dark and wet and natural and I see freckles on her nose that were not there earlier that morning - so I swim over to her.
A wave lifts me up, and when I come down over the other side, I am surprised that our faces are very close. For a second Tiffany reminds me so much of Nikki, I worry we might accidentally kiss, but Tiffany swims a few feet away from me before this happens, and I am thankful.
Her toes come up out of the water, and she begins to float, facing the horizon.
I lean back, stare at the line where sky meets water, allow my toes to rise, and float next to Tiffany for a long time, neither of us saying anything.
When we walk back to the blanket, Emily is sleeping with a fist in her mouth, and Veronica and Ronnie are lying down, holding hands in the