Silver Creek - G.L. Snodgrass Page 0,34
ever since I come to town,” he whispered.
Rebecca laughed, “I’ve wanted you to do that since I turned twelve.”
He suddenly frowned, “Listen, Becky, there are things about me. Things you don’t know.”
She pulled back as she fought to steady herself. “You better not be married because if you are I will cut your heart out with Helen’s butcher knife.”
Continued to frown as he shook his head. “No, just things. Things that ain’t all pretty. The war …”
She let out a long breath as she laid her head on his chest. He wasn’t married, that was all that mattered. Everything else could be dealt with. Suddenly, a new terrifying thought jumped to the front of her mind.
“Where you wounded?” she asked as she stepped back. He showed no indication. But what if he was deformed under his clothes. Nasty scars. It wouldn’t matter. But maybe that was it.
“No, never,” he said. “Not so much as a scratch. A miracle if you ask me. Four years, a dozen major battles, and twice as many skirmishes, and I never got touched.”
“What then?”
He sighed, “Sometimes … During the war. Sometimes I … Lose control.”
She felt her forehead crease in confusion.
He let out a long breath. “Erikson, one of my buddies said his ancestors called it ‘Going Berserk,’ the world turns red and all I see is enemies to be killed. Even my own men were afraid of me in a fight. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t take this job when Reed asked me. There is no telling what I might do.”
Luke pulled away from her, obviously ashamed as he stared down at the ground.
Rebecca stared at him for a long moment then shook her head. “That is it? That is your big secret?”
He sighed heavily. “Sometimes, at night. I go back to that place. In my dreams. I … I don’t know if it will ever stop. My gut tells me it won’t.”
Her insides melted at the thought of the pain he carried every day.
He shrugged. “Like I said, it ain’t pretty. Zion always used to say, a man who can’t control himself ain’t much of a man.”
“So, do you think you’d ever do this to me?” she asked him hesitantly. “I mean go wild and not know it was me?”
“No never.”
She almost smiled. There was no way this man would ever harm her. She knew it to her very soul. But he was obviously upset about telling her his big worry. It was almost as if he was afraid she would think less of him.
“Luke,” she said as she laid a hand on his chest and stared up into his eyes. “I am in love with you. I have always loved you. I refuse to let something like this come between us.”
His eyebrows rose as he looked at her with doubt.
“I tell you what,” she said as she wrapped her hands around the back of his neck. “The next time you feel this coming on. You kiss me instead.”
“This isn’t funny Becky. You haven’t seen me when I get this way.”
She sighed heavily. “Luke, I’ve seen a boy of thirteen do the work of two men to get his family over the Oregon Trail. I saw you swim a team of oxen across the Platte. When your world was destroyed you picked yourself up and kept going. I know you, Luke. Probably better than any person in this world. I know you are a good man. And that is all I ask.”
Her butterflies took full flight when he stared down into her eyes with a lustful, wanting look. He had just started to lean down to take her lips with his again when the night was interrupted by someone calling, “Sheriff!” over and over.
“What?” he yelled over his shoulder as he pulled away from her.
Rebecca felt an emptiness wash over her as space opened between them.
“Sheriff,” Pap Wilkins called as he half jogged closer, panting to catch his breath. “It’s Felton. He says he’s waiting for you at the Red House.”
“No,” Rebecca cried as she reached to grab his shirt. Maybe she could stop him. This was what she had feared more than anything.
Luke gently took her hands in his and stared into her eyes. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he said. “We have things to discuss and I ain’t finished kissing you.”
Her heart sank, but she could see it in his eyes. They had turned as hard as granite. There would be no swaying him. Nodding, she bit her lip