As I reached for my phone to call him, I heard a knock on the door to my flat. Sarita was out, so I went to answer it. My eyebrows shot up when I found Neil standing there. He looked absolutely wretched. His hair was unkempt, like he’d been running his fingers through it in agitation, and there were grey bags under his eyes.
“What the hell happened to you? You look like you’ve aged a decade since this morning.”
“I probably have,” he replied listlessly. “Stress can cause premature aging, right?” He looked past me and into the empty flat. “Sorry for turning up without calling first. I’ve had a really bad day. Can I come in?”
Just like that, guilt flooded me. For all the spiteful pep talks I’d given myself, Neil didn’t deserve my bitterness. Even if he had hurt me by secretly meeting up with Annabelle, it was petty to do the same thing and hurt him back. I should’ve tried to be the bigger person.
“Sure, come in,” I said, stepping aside.
He walked in and flopped down onto the couch. I sat on the armchair opposite him and continued to take him in. He looked so exhausted that all I wanted to do was pull him into my arms and hug all his worries away.
“I went to see Annabelle today,” he said. “I wanted to set the record straight and tell her I couldn’t see her anymore. You’re too important to me to start anything new without making a clear break with her.”
I swallowed tightly as more guilt swept in. The meeting with Annabelle had been about putting an end to their dating, not some grand attempt to win her over like my insecure little mind had conjured up.
“Oh,” I said, shame threatening to drown me as Neil’s gaze rose and he seemed to properly take me in for the first time. His attention ran up my legs, taking in the black skinny jeans, before stopping at the tight, lowcut lace top I wore.
“Why are you dressed like that?”
I lifted my chin, but my voice was wobbly. “I was planning on going out.”
“Planning on going out where?”
“To a bar.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why?”
I shifted awkwardly in my seat, chewing my lip as I replied, “So, I might’ve gotten the wrong end of the stick this morning.” Neil stared me down, his eyes once again running over my form-fitting outfit and vampy make-up. “I’d been freaking out over our kiss and how much it meant to me and how hurt I’d be if you ever decided you didn’t want to see me anymore. Then, on the drive home, I saw a text pop up on your phone from Annabelle, which just sent all my insecurities into overdrive, and—"
“You thought …” Neil interrupted before trailing off, shaking his head as he swore under his breath. “No, Afric. Good God, no. I would never—”
“I know that now. I was an idiot. Egg all over my face again. Ha! Typical.”
He sat forward, reaching across and taking my hand into his. “You have to know that what I thought I felt for Annabelle can’t hold a candle to how I feel for you. And as for the other thing, you have no need to worry about me not wanting to see you.” He paused, his throat moving as he swallowed. His brown eyes met mine with an intensity that was almost a physical force. “I can barely stand the wait in between your text messages, so it’s safe to say there’s no chance of me randomly deciding that I don’t want to see you.”
I met his gaze, my heart flip-flopping inside my chest cavity. “You really mean that?”
He squeezed my hand. “Yes. I hate being away from you. It’s torture. I would gladly live on the shelf in your bedroom if you let me.”
I gave a watery laugh. “Even with all the neon lamps glaring at you?”
“Even with them,” Neil replied.
I sent him a sincere look. “Ever since I woke up this morning, I’ve been letting my worries take over. I should’ve just talked to you. I’m sorry.”
“Yes, you should have, but there’s no need to apologise. I understand why you freaked out. The kiss was a big deal,” Neil said, his eyes so soft with understanding and empathy that I thought I might melt. “You shouldn’t ever feel the need to run from me, Afric. I’m not some arsehole who won’t listen.”