another, so you have a varied range of complexity, from the very simple 'mindless' ones to those that demand undivided attention."
- Laura Early, lifetime knitter
LYDIA HOFFMAN
I' ve spent so much time in doctors' offices that over the years I've come to dread even the most routine appointments. It's almost always the same. I sit in an uncomfortable chair in a waiting room full of strangers and we all avoid looking at one another. Generally, I bring my knitting or I flip through magazines that are months if not years old.
The one advantage of being in Dr. Wilson's office is that after all this time the staff have become practically as familiar as family, especially Peggy, Dr. Wilson's nurse.
Peggy was working for Dr. Wilson when I came in for my first appointment, nearly fifteen years ago. I remember when she was pregnant, not once but twice. I vividly recall wondering if I'd be alive to see her second baby. The thing with cancer is that you learn to take nothing for granted. Not one day, not one season, not even a minute. At sixteen I wanted to make it to seventeen so I could attend the Junior-Senior Prom. I survived, but no one asked me to the prom.
"Lydia." Peggy stood in the doorway holding my chart, which must weigh twenty pounds. My medical history was filled with details, of symptoms and procedures, as well as documentation of the different medications I'd taken.
When I got up, it seemed that every eye in the waiting room was on me. If I'd been the type of person to grandstand, I would've leaped to my feet and announced I was a two-time winner in the lottery of life. Having a more subdued nature, however, I calmly stuffed my knitting into my quilted bag and followed Peggy.
"How are you doing?" Peggy asked after she'd weighed me and made a notation on the chart.
"Great." I stepped off the scale and sighed with relief to note that my weight was within a couple of pounds of my last visit. Peggy led me to the cubicle at the far end of the hallway, where she thrust a disposable thermometer under my tongue and reached for my wrist. She stared at her watch and quickly made a second notation on my chart. "Good strong heartbeat," she said, sounding pleased.
I should hope so; my insurance company had paid plenty for the privilege of having that heartbeat. I would've told her as much but talking wasn't an option at the moment.
Peggy was pumping the blood-pressure cuff, which she'd wrapped around my upper arm. It grew uncomfortably tight before she released it. When she'd finished listening, she nodded. "Very good."
At last she removed the thermometer. "You're feeling well?"
"I feel fabulous."
Peggy smiled. "There's a sparkle in your eyes. You've met someone, haven't you?"
"Oh, hardly." I brushed aside her insight, but found I really did want to tell her about Brad. I didn't, because there wasn't that much to tell. Not yet, anyway. We'd met for drinks twice, talked on the phone two or three times a week, sometimes for an hour or more. He came by the shop at least once during the course of a week and occasionally - no, more than occasionally - we kissed.
Brad and I were only beginning to know each other. We weren't serious, weren't even close to being serious. Brad was deeply involved in his son's life and I was deeply involved in my business. We were friends in the same way I was friends with Carol Girard. Okay, maybe not exactly the same way, but nevertheless friends. For now, that was comfortable for me and apparently for him, too.
"Have you met someone?" Peggy asked again.
I nodded hesitantly.
I thought she was ready to burst into applause. "I always knew you would," she said with a smile of delight.
"Oh, honestly, Peggy, I'm thirty years old."
"And your point is?"
It was embarrassing to be this transparent, especially at my age, but that's another aspect of having had cancer as a teenager. My social maturity seemed stuck where it was the day I got my driver's license. Social development is delayed for those of us who are detoured by the fight for life. I don't want to sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself because I'm not; this is a simple fact that needs to be taken into account in relationships.
I knew the routine visits well enough to know that the next part was to stretch out my arm for Peggy