brushed aside the question and marched to the back of the store, where she walked into the employee rest room. The toilet was disgusting. She didn't want to guess how long it'd been since the last cleaning. The blue additive didn't begin to disguise the yellow ring around the inside of the bowl. Funny she'd notice that now.
Standing in front of the sink, Alix stared into the mirror. The voices that came to taunt her were familiar ones. They were the ugly, negative voices that shouted words she tried to ignore. Voices that laughed in her face and said she was a loser. No matter what she did or how hard she tried, she'd never amount to anything. Her life was doomed. This was her lot. She'd never earn more than minimum wage, never be loved, never have a real home with things that normal people took for granted, like a phone and a dishwasher.
Pressing her hands to her face, Alix closed her eyes and felt the dark misery descend. She could feel its oppressive weight settle on her shoulders, shoving her down to a place deep inside. She tried unsuccessfully to shake off the depression, tried to shake off the ugly words that echoed in her mind.
The repulsive names her mother had called her rang through her head. She could hear a teacher's chastisement and belittling comments next, and the humiliation returned as strong now as it had been twelve years earlier. She wanted to bury all the hurtful words. Instead they reverberated through her mind with such force she nearly slumped to the rest room floor.
A knock sounded at the door, startling her. Alix jerked her head toward the noise.
"Alix, you in there?"
Laurel. Damn. "What?" she snapped.
"He's back."
"Who?"
"The guy you were just talking to. I don't know his name."
Alix bit her lower lip. "You help him."
"He asked for you."
"Why?" she asked, frowning.
"I don't know," Laurel said irritably. "Am I supposed to read minds, too?"
"I'll be out in a minute, all right?" Alix straightened, brushing her hands through her hair as she came to grips with this information. She wondered what possible reason Jordan could have for seeking her out.
Because her face was beet-red, she ran cold water over her hands and then brought them to her cheeks, not caring what it did to her makeup.
She didn't know how much time had passed before she finally found the courage to come out and face Jordan.
He was standing at the counter waiting. He smiled as she approached.
"You wanted to see me?" she asked as if he'd interrupted her. She didn't want to give him the impression that she was happy to see him, and in truth, she wasn't. After humiliating herself once, she didn't feel like doing it again. Not this soon, anyway.
"You said you'd put aside The Matrix for me?"
Her relief was intense. "Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. I've got it up front." She moved past him and behind the counter to the spot where she'd placed the video.
"I appreciate you doing that for me."
"No problem," she said, busying herself with the computer screen. She rang up the total and asked for his card. After he'd paid her the rental fee, she set the video in its protective plastic case, then slipped it inside a bag and handed it to him over the counter. "We've got a special on microwave popcorn this week if you're interested."
"No, thanks. I bought a case at Costco my last visit. I've got enough popcorn to last me for the next ten years."
She rested her elbows on the counter, feeling awkward and a bit embarrassed. She had no idea what to say, what to ask. If she mentioned the Jordan Turner from sixth grade, it would sound like a pick-up line. "Uh, any other movies you want me to put aside for you?" That wasn't exactly a scintillating question but at least it made sense.
He shrugged. "Can't think of any at the moment, but if I do I'll let you know."
"Okay."
With a nod, Jordan left. The glass door closed and as if by magic Laurel appeared. "What did he want?"
"A movie, what else?"
"How come he only wanted you to help him?"
Alix didn't feel inclined to go into the details. "How am I supposed to know that?"
"There's no need to get all snappy with me."
The door chimed and to Alix's astonishment, Jordan stuck his head inside. "Alix, what time do you get off work?"
She was too shocked to answer immediately. "Eleven. I close three nights