Shock - Marie Johnston Page 0,7

but it’s as posh as the rest of the place, meant to persuade those on the fence into joining.

My gaze catches on a couple seated on the other side of the dining room. The guy’s facing me, a typical good-looking dude in a suit, maybe a few years older than me. His date’s back is to me—and what a back it is.

Most guys get hung up on tits or ass, and I’ve totally done that too, but with this woman sitting in a chair, I can’t see either. Yet her shoulders are bared by the dark red dress she’s wearing. Sleek muscles flex along her back and arms. The back of the dress has a cutout, but her fall of rich mahogany hair covers most of it. Is her hair as soft as it looks?

“How’s Jayden?” Mom’s question is enough to stop me lusting after the back of a complete stranger.

I force myself to remain relaxed. Mom’s sensitive about my issues with Cass. She thinks she’s to blame, and Cass would probably agree, but it’s only been Cass limiting my time with Jayden. “He’s good. I guess Cass and her family are in Lake Tahoe this weekend.”

“Oh, that’ll be a nice trip. Will you be seeing him soon?”

The conversation from the other day crashes down on me. Will I be seeing my son soon? Isn’t that what I ask myself every day? Cass gives me just enough time with Jayden to give me hope while showing me she’s the one with all the power.

I missed his first steps. I missed his first words. And each time I do get to see him, he has to get over stranger-danger before he quits crying. He doesn’t know his own father. If Cass gets into a serious relationship, the guy she’s with will have a better chance at being Dad than me.

Fears I’ve been trying to suppress since Cass left me well up. Mom will know something’s wrong and think it’s something she did. Because my ass of a stepfather always made her think that.

I need a moment, just a chance to process that damn wedding and my future with my kid so I can have a nice lunch with my mom.

“Uh, I don’t know. Excuse me, I want to go to the bathroom before we order.” I lurch from the table without waiting for a reply. I give myself a mental shake as Cass’s words replay in my head.

Prove you can be a good role model for your son.

I can do it. I can quit sleeping around, suffer shower masturbation for the next however many years. But I can’t go back to being a doctor. Mom needs me. She needs me here, and I need an income.

Medical school left me with a lot of debt that paramedic wages weren’t ready to pay off. I need to keep working. It just won’t be as the doctor that Cass and her surgeon-family wants. No residency program is going to want me after taking this long of a break after medical school.

My advisor’s warning echoes in my head. Take a year off, but if you don’t get right back in the game, the game isn’t going to want you—because this isn’t a game. Students at the top of their class are going to be competing for the same slots as you. And they won’t have to explain that they couldn’t handle life before becoming a doctor.

He was right. About everything.

I’ll do whatever it takes to be with my kid, even if that means staying in Sunnyville and being a paramedic until my body breaks down. Then I’ll teach with the EMS program Sunnyville offers.

I weave through the tables, heading for the hallway that promises peace on the other side. I’m not so in my head that I don’t try to get a glimpse of the beauty with the nice shoulders. But she’s gone. Just the guy remains in all his pretentious asshole glory. Not that I know a thing about him, other than the arrogant tilt to his lips as he scrolls through his phone.

Looking for her is diversion enough. I’m feeling somewhat better as I hit the hall to the restroom. Then the finest ass appears in front of me, covered in soft burgundy material, swaying gently with each step.

Damn. There she is.

Legs for miles. The full view of her back from the top of her head all the way to her slender ankles in sharp heels is more amazing than I could’ve hoped