Shock - Marie Johnston Page 0,19

I have a heat rash when this is over, I deserve it.

Because I can’t stop the erotic images of Lia streaming through my imagination. Her swaying backside in that dress at the country club. Her slow bend over.

What would she look like naked, nothing impeding my gaze from her narrow ankles, up her strong calves, to those thighs rounded with muscle?

Electricity tingles at the base of my spine. All I have to do is imagine slipping that same dress over her shoulders, downward, until one rosy nipple pops free.

My balls tighten, and in my mind’s eye, I’m lowering my head to capture one of those tight peaks that poked me through my shirt.

A roar rips from my chest as my climax crashes over me. Water runs into my eyes, down to my mouth, only to turn to spray as I moan and heave.

Fuck.

I sag against the wall, my stroking hand hanging limp, water washing my release away. I don’t even know where I sprayed. I don’t care. I’m too lost in the empty afterglow, my brain reeling over an orgasm that’s stronger than any I’ve had since…ever.

I can’t afford to think about Lia this way. She’s too important to me and she’s hung up on some other guy. I’ll only stomp on it and ruin it when she wants more. They always want more.

I’ve shirked relationships for so long. My only serious one ended with her taking the most important thing in my life. I left my career before it started for my mom. I’m pretending to date Lia for Cass, so I can get that time with Jayden. Beyond that, I had no other plans.

So where does that leave me?

As I towel off, only one question roams through my mind. What do I want?

I’m getting into a pair of shorts when my phone chimes. A missed voicemail from Cass.

I hop on one foot while I finish dressing on my way to the nightstand as fast as possible. Missing Cass’s calls when I’m working annoys her enough. Not answering otherwise is a major strike against me.

I listen to the message. Just a curt “call me” and Jayden screaming in the background.

My pulse spikes as worst-case scenarios download in my imagination. Is there something wrong with him? His airway is obviously clear but maybe he hit his head. Did he lose consciousness?

Cass answers with an irritated “Yeah?” Jayden’s stuttered cries pierce my heart. I just want to fucking hold him. To comfort him when he’s hurt.

“Hey. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

Relief chases away any irritation at her attitude and helps me watch my own tone. “He was cry—nothing. What’s up?”

“I have a meeting tomorrow and I need you to watch Jayden.”

Aw, hell. Here we go. “I work a twelve tomorrow. It’s on the schedule I gave you.”

“You’re his dad. Take it off.”

Finding someone to cover a twelve-hour shift on this short of notice would be next to impossible. “We’re short-staffed. I can try my mom—”

“Your mom hasn’t touched a baby in years. Her own step kids hate her.”

We’ve been over this before. Besides, Jayden’s a toddler. Not as fragile as a baby, but more self-destructive. “Speaking of which, we were just at Karoline’s wedding.”

“Were you even invited?” Cass says flatly.

“Yes. Lia and I went with Mom.”

“Lia? Your partner?”

This is it. Once I tell Cass, there’s no going back. She’s the reason I came up with the idea that left me twisted all damn night. “We’re dating.”

“Like…as in more than once?”

I wince. “Yes, Cass.”

She tsks. “You can’t even keep it in your pants at work.”

I say quietly, “Lia’s a good person, and I’ll do what I need to do to be a good father for Jayden.”

“He could’ve had a physician for a dad. You would’ve been done with your residency by now.”

I stay silent. I’ve lost this argument a hundred times. It doesn’t matter what I say about my decision to not apply for residency, about the dire financial straits Mom was left in. Being a paramedic when I could’ve been a doctor is my shame to bear in Cass’s eyes.

A loud sigh resonates over the line. “Can’t you at least try to get out of work during my meeting? Or don’t you want your girlfriend to be with anyone else?”

She sounds less catty and more vulnerable. As much as she’s used my playboy ways against me, is she prepared for me to be monogamous or is my plan going to backfire? I never thought that maybe she’s insecure about it all. She