takes that title," Ivory said, her voice deepening. She'd known him and liked him well enough, so to know that he cheated felt like a personal affront to her, too. The fact that she'd gone on a "date" with him once at my suggestion only made the situation weirder. Patrick had liked her, and that should have been the first clue that we'd never work. I had no clue how Ivory and I worked as best friends, but we couldn't have been more different if we'd tried. Men who liked Ivory's quiet strength tended not to like my in-your-face attitude.
Hence Patrick's insistence for me to settle down. Like the manic energy that kept me from sitting still was my fault and not the result of all the messed up chemical imbalances in my brain, making it so that I literally couldn't function without jumping around. I wanted to, but I needed that extra dopamine or life was boring.
Plain.
"The vet will be here in half an hour," Ivory sighed, changing the subject from the man she knew I wouldn't want to talk about. Just another in a long line of disappointments who couldn't handle how messed up I was. Constantly living a life in opposition with my own desires, how could I ever expect a man to keep up with that? Or understand why one day I wanted one thing and the next was completely different?
Sometimes, the idea of taking risks terrified me. Other times, it thrilled me. I couldn't keep up with it or predict it.
"’kay. Think you can send someone over with a car? We took the bike to the gym, and I don't think Rebel will like riding bitch very much." Ivory chuckled into the phone, the soft breath too much for my ear to handle as I held the phone away.
"Your man's got you covered, Sadie Anne. He had his SUV dropped off an hour ago." She hung up, not giving me time to respond. My eyes drifted up to the bastard in question, finding him smirking at me. Looking for recognition of his good deed.
I'd throw him a bone later. I just didn't know which variety. I knew which was the smarter option, but it was so much less fun.
Enzo was mostly quiet in the car, but it didn't make me think he was appropriately chastised. His hand on my thigh and his heat searing me through the jeans I'd slipped on over my shorts didn't help. I wished I could say that I didn't like the touch, but something about the feeling of his weight on my leg settled me.
Comforted me.
Made me still. In a life where my brain constantly spun, the moments of stillness were precious and rare. I wanted to enjoy it for just a few more minutes, to not bounce my knee rhythmically or tap my fingers to quiet the noise in my head and distract myself from the need to straighten things out.
Things never stayed in place in cars. It was a problem.
Rebel paced in the back of the SUV like a caged animal, and I hated the feeling of camaraderie I felt for her. I knew what it was like to feel like a prisoner in your own life. Even if the bars of my cage were more metaphorical, I still related.
The cage felt very real, though, when Enzo pulled the vehicle through the gate to the Bellandi estate. I hated being there, but I'd had to get over that to spend time with Ivory and Luna since she'd married Matteo. I didn't like it when I felt limited in where I could go or what I could do.
"You okay?" Enzo asked, studying the knee that started bouncing his hand up and down as the gates closed behind us, the moment of stillness forgotten in the face of my anxiety mounting.
"Yeah. I don't like being trapped," I admitted in a rare moment of honesty. "I know it's necessary for her and Luna. I just feel like I can't breathe sometimes."
"Did something happen? To make you not like gates and walls?" he asked as he pulled up to the front of the house. Other cars lingered in the driveway, but most of the SUVs I associated with the Bellandi estate were notably absent.
"No. I've just never liked being confined or told what to do," I snarked back, giving him a pointed look. In other words, everything he wanted to do to me to keep me safe.