Jack paused and turned to look at her again, expression carefully blank.
“Go on.”
Conscious of her near nudity, Morgan kept her arms tightly curled around her knees, covering her bare br**sts. “I’d be lying if I said it had never crossed my mind. I just know me. And that’s not me.”
“Why do you think that?”
She frowned. “Why shouldn’t I?”
“You’ve never been submissive to any of your previous lovers. How could you know something is not for you without trying it at least once? If you’re having fantasies, the reality may be even more appealing.”
Thoughts chased one another in Morgan’s head. He couldn’t be right. She only had to smell cooked cabbage to know she didn’t like it, right?
Weak analogy. The fact was, she avoided submitting in part because of the shame Andrew had forced on her, because of the horror she knew her mother would express if Morgan gave in to such wicked urges.
The other reason…the idea tempted her more than anything had in her life. She feared addiction.
Jack leaned closer, making it hard for her to process her thoughts logically. He smelled amazing. Man and spice, cypress and leather and warm skin all rolled into one incredibly attractive package with abs so tight she could probably bounce a quarter off them. The man was temptation on two legs.
What if she tried submitting? To him. Just once.
If she liked it, Andrew would be right. She
wasn’t…abnormal, was she?
“I can almost hear the thoughts spinning in that pretty head of yours, cher. You’re thinking too hard. It’s simple.”
“No, it’s not! It’s my body, my…” Morgan shook her head, trying to put it into words.
“Your life? The way you see yourself? I know. But would you rather tell yourself you were adventurous enough to try something once or have to admit that you were so scared you ran away before even dipping your toe in the water?”
Why the hell was he pushing so hard?
“Stop! This is about you. You just want to get laid.”
He slanted her a self-deprecating smile—one that made her toes curl. “I want you, mais yeah. I’ve made no secret about that. But I also don’t want to see you miserable when the truth could free you.”
“I’m not miserable. I love my life!”
“I’m sure you love every part of your life…except sex. If you have the courage to find the truth, spend one night with me,” he challenged. “Just one, but my way. Tomorrow if you didn’t like it, no harm done. I’ll never touch you again.”
Lord, there it was—a challenge to find the truth, one that could be both simple and ugly.
Morgan sighed. Jack was right. She had never enjoyed sex, never explored the side of her psyche that wracked her with fevered dreams. Maybe…maybe those two facts were related. Maybe it was time to assuage her curiosity. She’d indulge her wicked fantasies once, and when they’d been fulfilled, she’d be over them.
And if Jack was just using her for sex…well, why couldn’t she use him, too? A mad sex scientist in decadent bedroom experiment. He was absolutely no hardship to look at, and when he was buried inside her, the pleasure was intense enough to make her lose her mind. With his help, she could rid herself of the nagging desire to be dominated by a man when it came to sex. Then she could go back to a normal life and shake off Andrew’s slur and, someday, move into a new relationship with a clear head.
“I’m not a coward and I’m not a submissive. Mount up and I’ll prove it.”
He took her hand. “You need to find this out, once and for all.”
Whatever. By tomorrow they’d both know the truth. He’d know he was wrong. She nodded.
“We need a safe word,” Jack said.
“All right.” She didn’t pretend to misunderstand. She’d read enough to know what it meant. “If I say the word…swamp, you’ll stop everything.”
He nodded, dark hair skimming his wide forehead. “You say swamp, and we’re done. But before you use the word, be certain you’re in actual pain beyond your bearing. Mild discomfort isn’t good enough. Either physical or mental. I’m going to challenge your traditional notions about sex. I will dare you to give more of yourself than you ever have. There’s no place to hide here, Morgan. I want to be totally clear. Are you ready for that?”