“There are so many things wrong with that statement…” She shook her head. “First, I don’t think so, but talk to him! I don’t understand… Tell me what happened—and don’t leave anything out.”
Trying to hold back her tears, she related the incident with Gordon at the restaurant. To others—maybe even to Kata—breaking a burgeoning relationship because she felt silenced may seem extreme. But after so many years of misery, she could not bear the risk of losing herself, of disappearing again. She would rather be alone and able to stand on her own two feet than to be utterly dependent again.
Kata leaned forward and took her hands. She hesitated for a long moment before she finally sent her an empathetic frown. “I understand. I struggled with so many of the things you’re feeling now. I want to ask you a few questions and answer me very honestly, okay?”
“Of course.”
“These won’t be easy questions. First, do you believe in your heart that Caleb would ever want you subjugated and silenced? That he would disrespect or neglect you in any way?”
“No. He would mean well, always. He has a kind heart and good intentions. I know he merely meant to protect me from Gordon, but it is my battle to fight, if I choose to fight it. I did not. Gordon is a rat not worth my time and anger.”
“But he’s a rat who will come back if you don’t put him in his place. Has he tried to contact you since you ran into him?” Kata sent her a knowing stare.
Carlotta flushed. “He called the hospital earlier this week, asking for me, and left a message.”
“There you go. He believes that you’re sufficiently cowed now because you didn’t stand up for yourself. He may even believe that he can bully you into coming back. I don’t know. But I don’t think Caleb had the wrong idea exactly. Sure it might have been nice if he’d talked to you before he threatened the ass**le, but honestly, what would you have thought of Caleb if he’d done nothing while Gordon denigrated you?”
The question ripped through her thoughts with quiet destruction. Carlotta had never considered the situation from that point of view. But she knew the answer immediately. “I do not think I could respect such a man. It reeks of cowardice.”
“And that’s something no one will ever accuse the Colonel of having. In his eyes, you were his to care for and protect. He wouldn’t have been treating you properly if he had let Gordon walk all over you without saying a word in your defense. You know what would have happened if Hunter had been with you.”
Yes, her son-in-law would likely have punched Gordon and threatened him with something violent and unrepeatable. By comparison, Caleb had been fairly restrained.
“If one of my ex-boyfriends ever treated me like that—”
“I would show him the sharp edge of my tongue immediately,” Carlotta assured.
Kata smiled. “The instinct of a mother. I’ve heard you and Mari talk about it several times. You didn’t even have to think about what you’d do. You simply knew. What about the instinct of a man in love? You think that’s any less strong when men like Caleb are, by nature, protectors?”
Eduardo had loved her very much. He would have never let Gordon or anyone talk to her that way. Why should she imagine that Caleb would allow such a thing either?
Carlotta’s thoughts tangled, and her head told her that Kata had some very valid points. Her frightened, half-frozen heart kept trying to override her logic, reminding her that her terrible past could repeat itself if she allowed something as foolish as hope to rule her.
“Kata, I…” But she didn’t know how to finish that sentence because she did not know how to feel or what to say.
“Last question,” her daughter assured. “You’re very unhappy without Caleb now. I’m not even going to phrase that like a question because I can see you are. But you’ve avoided being with him because you’re afraid to be unhappy?”
“Surely, this sadness will pass.”
“But why should you feel it at all? When you were with him, before the incident with Gordon, were you happy?”
As brief as it had been… “Very.”
Carlotta sniffled. Goodness, had she allowed herself to create her own misery?
“Do you really think after so many years with Gordon that you would fall back onto the same timid path or that Caleb would be interested in a woman he believed had no backbone?”
No, but… She couldn’t quite find the right words to phrase her worries.
“You’re scared.” Kata summed it up. “I understand. Believe me, I totally get that.”
With precious few words, Kata zeroed in on her issue. She was afraid of being back in that place, of being that person again.
“But do you realize that by being too afraid to move on and be with a wonderful man who loves you, you’re letting Gordon win? Even two years later, even from a different state, even after the divorce, you’re letting him dictate your life to you. You’re giving him your power.”
Kata’s terribly honest words were a blow to the chest. A thousand thoughts all rushed her mind at once, the loudest that her daughter was right. If Gordon knew that he had stirred up enough fear to cause her to leave a man who genuinely wanted to cherish her, he would relish that. The small man would feel big. He would have the last laugh.
“I will not let him win.” Carlotta clenched her fists, determined to get Gordon out of her life once and for all.