“No. You may have guessed that I am not the sort of woman to sleep with a man without being serious or invested, and I know we have not discussed—”
“I love you.”
His declaration knocked the air out of her lungs. Carlotta gaped at him.
He cursed under his breath. “I know blurting it isn’t the most romantic thing, and I should probably move more slowly and let you think about this more. But I’ve been thinking about you since the night Hunter first took you from your ex-husband and brought you to me. I’ve watched over you since. I’ve wanted you since. And with every time I saw you, I got to know the tender-hearted woman under your scars. Don’t tell me this is abrupt. I know how I feel.”
Caleb wasn’t the sort of man to fall in love a great deal; that went without saying. And she had not loved a man since Eduardo. She was very fond of Caleb, wanted him desperately, respected and liked him… “I am afraid of love. It sounds silly, I know. I never loved Gordon, and yet he still hurt me very much. But loving someone gives them power.”
He brushed a knuckle down her cheek. “Trusting someone and giving yourself to them can also free you from that fear.”
Her thoughts scrambled. He was right. “I never considered it that way.”
“I think it’s time you did, Lottie. I want to make you happy. But you have to let me try.”
Her breath seized. She probably did love him, and that terrified part of her did not wish to admit it. But when her car had broken down in August, had she called the roadside assistance company she paid each year? No, she had called Caleb. Had she called an electrician when she had experienced problems with her circuit breaker? Or called a coworker to help her home after some outpatient surgery to help her ankle just before Halloween? In every case, she had leaned on Caleb, knowing full well that he would be there for her each and every time.
She licked her lips nervously, then sipped her wine. “You are right. I have been a coward.”
Caleb cupped her face in his hand. “Not a coward, baby. Cautious. Understandably so. But you know I would never hurt you like Gordon did. I’m not married to my job anymore. I’ve learned a lot since my marriage. No matter what, I would never stop listening to you.”
“I believe you.” She met his deep blue stare and felt something in her chest give way, as if opening herself to the possibility of love with this man. She fell a bit more.
For a long while, she had wished she could have a do-over with her love life for the past twenty years. She had never imagined that her do-over would not be a rehashing of her past, but a brand-new future.
He pressed a lingering kiss to her lips. She heard him growl under his breath, then pull away. “You are dangerous to my restraint, baby. If I wasn’t starving and didn’t have a long drive back to Tyler to take you home, I’d suggest we skip dinner and…”
His long, slow smile made that little ache Caleb always incited between her legs grow to something more urgent and needy.
Before she could take him up on his wonderfully inappropriate offer, the waiter returned with their food. She dug into her lasagna, and he moaned into a plate of spaghetti. A bushy Christmas tree took up one corner of the room, its lights twinkling. Carols sung by Italian tenors hummed in the background. The holidays were supposed to be a time of peace, of being close to loved ones and celebrating all the joys in life. For the first time in years, Carlotta had a reason to celebrate that didn’t have anything to do with her children.
Caleb made her feel alive again—young again. Needed…as a woman. Desired…as a lover. And yes, wicked. He made her feel very, very wicked.
Until him, she had not known how badly she needed that.
Between bites, he took a sip of wine, then turned to murmur in her ear. “I can’t wait to have you naked again. Under me. Baby, I want to fill you up so deep. I can’t wait to hear you pant my name as you grip every inch of my c**k with your body.”
She swallowed a lump of lasagna. With those words, a totally different hunger overtook her. Food could be reheated. The oven at the kids’ house worked. In some ways, she felt as if she had been waiting decades to start living again. She didn’t want to wait another minute.
“Can we leave now?”
He froze. “What are you saying?”
Carlotta clenched her fists, not sure how or if she could say this out loud. “We have known each other more than two years. We have waited, and now it feels like forever.”
“And a day,” he groaned and clasped her thigh in a strong grip, his hand edging up under her skirt, so close to her wetness that she gasped.
“Damn panties.”
“You were not going to touch me here?” The idea shocked her—and aroused her.
“Oh, yeah, I was.” He sighed. “But it’s probably better if I don’t. I want you to understand this is more than sex. I don’t know exactly how much more, but I want to figure everything out with you.”
“I want that, too.” She smiled at him. Happy tears made her nose tingle and her eyes simmer.
“I wanted to make love to you for the first time on a bed, some place you could be comfortable. But with me staying at Deke and Kimber’s, and you over at Mari’s… Hotel?”
She wrinkled her nose. “Impersonal.”