He was realistic. The past had proven to him, in the ugliest way possible, that he couldn’t put anyone fragile in his hands. He was too broken to care for Hannah like she deserved. Getting aroused by watching his brothers touch her pu**y and bring her to orgasm didn’t mean anything except he was male and healthy.
“You and Dex have barely said two words to each other.”
Gavin realized that, but at least Dex had gotten on the plane with him. “Dex was far too busy with Hannah to speak to me. And we shouldn’t pretend like he isn’t here listening to every word we say.”
Slade waved off that thought. “He’s the soundest sleeper I know. A nuclear bomb could go off, and Dex would sleep through it. He told me that he grew up in some of the loudest homes imaginable, and he had to train himself to sleep through anything.” Gavin hadn’t heard the stories, but he’d read the files the private investigator had compiled.
Dex had grown up rough. His mother had been one of Stuart James’s many girlfriends. She’d been a stripper. When she’d turned up pregnant, he’d given Roxanne Townsend a check for ten thousand dollars and told her to get an abortion. Roxanne had ignored the orders, but she’d died in a car accident when Dex was seven. He’d spent the next ten years in and out of foster homes until the day Gavin and Slade had found him.
“He looks up to you,” Slade said.
Gavin doubted that. “He sees me as his boss.”
Slade’s head shook. “That’s not true. He’s only closer to me because we went to college together. Dad had just died. You were twenty-two, and you had to take the reins of a multi-billion-dollar company.”
“And deal with a hostile takeover.” A group of board members had tried to wrest control, thinking that Gavin was just a kid. He’d proven then that he could swim with the sharks.
Now he made sure they damn well knew he could lead them, as well.
“And Nikki died just a few months after that.” The soft words landed with a thud Slade couldn’t possibly have intended.
Gavin felt his whole body go cold. “We’re not talking about that.”
“Maybe we should. She’s been a ghost in your life all this time, holding you back. You have to move on. You loved her, and she died. You can’t blame yourself. Gavin, wouldn’t she have wanted you to be happy? What happened was tragic, but not your fault.” Except it had been his fault, and it had cost far more of his soul than Slade could possibly know to keep that fact from everyone. But you also kept all the nasty stuff out of the papers. You protected the family’s good name. Too bad that was all you protected.
He could still feel the cold air of the coroner’s office as he received the news. Sometimes he had nightmares about that cramped, foul-smelling room. If he’d never gone, if he’d never known, would he have been able to move on? Could he have forgiven himself if it had only been Nikki he’d killed with his neglect?
“Clearly, you’re under some misconception that I’m hung up on a sad event that happened a decade ago.” Now wasn’t the time to trot out the truth.
Slade sat back, obviously disappointed. “I hate it when you lie to me. But I appreciate your help convincing Hannah of our sincerity earlier. She needed to hear that Dex and I are serious about her.”
He’d ached to include himself in that statement he’d made to Hannah about his brothers’
intentions. That had scared him more than anything. “I know you care about her.”
“I love her.”
Gavin envied the unrelenting sureness of Slade’s statement, but he knew he’d never be able to give his whole heart to another person now. “She seems to feel the same way about you two.
Be gentle with her.”
Slade’s lips slid into a grin. “You think the spanking was a little rough?” He’d thought the spanking was absolute perfection. “It seemed to please her.” One eyebrow crept up on Slade’s face as he stared at Gavin. “But it did nothing for you?”
“It relieved me to see that she handled it well.” She’d been sweet and submissive and graceful. So unlike his typical women these days.
Sex had become an exchange for Gavin. He kept a companion, paid for her condo, and gave her an allowance. In exchange, she was his partner in social occasions and sex until he deemed otherwise.
The arrangement was good enough. It was all he deserved.
Slade’s eyes narrowed, and Gavin was deathly afraid that Slade meant to continue this little interrogation. “How is Kristin doing?”
Kristin? He hadn’t talked to her in over a year. “I think she got married, actually.” Slade’s fingers drummed along the arm rest. “That’s right. You’ve moved on to Tiffany.
She’s your latest…girlfriend?”
He said girlfriend in a halting way, as though he knew the words didn’t fit, but couldn’t come up with anything better. Gavin could. “She was my mistress, Slade. And she’s no longer with me, either.”
His current mistress, Brooke, was exactly like Tiffany, and the sort of woman he needed—