“It’s over and done, Tyler. I’m okay, so don’t waste your time feeling guilty. Let’s move forward and end this shit with Carlson. Then you can go back to you life, and I can go back to mine.”
“And then what? I’m supposed to pretend that I don’t have a son who needs a father?” Or that his beautiful mother seems determined to raise him without me?
“Right now, it’s the middle of the night. You’re just supposed to go to sleep.”
Without another word, she crawled back in bed. Tyler did the same, but sleep wouldn’t come.
Damn it, he didn’t want to let this go. But even if she was willing to make a life with him tomorrow, what did he know about being a good husband and father? How could he convince her that he’d figure it out and be ten times the man Eric had ever been when he wasn’t completely sure himself?
Chapter Eight
BY six that morning, they pulled back onto I-10. In Phoenix, they stopped for lunch and another car exchange, again courtesy of Xander, via some gorgeous blonde who looked ready for a stripper pole. This time, Del didn’t say a word as Tyler transferred her duffel into the back of a nondescript white SUV and thanked the woman. Then he climbed into the vehicle, and they took off again.
Del sank back against the plush leather seats, listening to the heavy alternative rock banging through the speakers. She peered at Tyler from beneath her lashes, trying to make heads or tails of him.
“You can let me do something, you know. I’m not helpless.”
He stopped at a light and turned his heavy gaze her way. “You brought my son into the world and raised him alone for fifteen months. You drove the two of you safely across the country with a madman on your tail. Helpless is the last thing I’d call you.”
His words made her glow. “Then why are you taking responsibility for everything? The Tyler I knew would have brought the beer, but . . .”
“I would never have thrown the party.” He surged ahead in the traffic, merging on the freeway. “I know. You’ve handled everything up until yesterday. I’m going to take care of you now.”
Del stared. Something had changed about him. She liked it—more than she wanted to. And she was incredibly relieved. Of course, she needed to stand on her own two feet and be strong for Seth . . . but for this brief moment, it was so nice to lean on Tyler’s broad shoulders. He’d fed her, kept her safe, even taken care of her sexually. She was almost ashamed to admit how much she’d needed that orgasm—and how badly she’d wanted it from him. For those blissful minutes, she’d felt close to him again.
Afterward, she’d directed all her guilt at him. Regret now weighed her down. Del knew that if the blame belonged to someone, it was her for being unable to resist Tyler. She knew who and what he was. He never turned down a willing female. They had so much unresolved between them. It was natural that he’d come on to her.
She could never make the mistake of thinking it meant anything important to him.
Still, once the orgasmic high had faded, Del realized that her life would become horrifically empty once Tyler was gone again. Yes, he made noise about sharing something in the future, but the Tyler she’d known wasn’t cut out for marriage and kids. Despite his changes, he might never be. Alyssa’s strippers called him Cockzilla with good reason. As much as she cared for Tyler, she’d never want him to put himself in the uncomfortable position of being a husband simply because he felt obligated. She’d only end up hurt when he left her or strayed. Best to solve her problems, then keep her distance. Let Tyler be the eternal bachelor he was meant to be.
“Thanks. I’ll be able to take care of things again once we’ve dealt with Carlson.”
“First, we have to convince Eric to let you back in to retrieve your flash drive.”
Del sighed. How could she explain this? “He doesn’t hate me. He was really angry for a while. Once he started rehabbing in earnest and his ability to walk returned, he seemed better. I think that if I explain why I snuck in, it’ll be okay. He might not love me anymore, but he wouldn’t want me dead.”
But there was a possibility he’d be pissed. Or he might not care at all. Del really didn’t know. It was a gamble. Everything right now was.
“The motherfucker better help you, or I’m going to open his skull with my fists.”
She reared back. In the hotel room this morning she’d sensed hostility from Tyler toward Eric, but this was obvious. As tight as they’d been, like brothers, it stunned her a little. If he’d been in Eric’s situation and felt like he’d been cuckolded—
No. She realized. Tyler would have never used Eric as a sexual crutch and asked his pal to f**k her. Tyler had always been more pigheaded and had more gumption. He would have used his words, his hands, even toys to get her off and give himself something to look forward to. Hell, even his tongue, as he’d suggested this morning. The thought gave her a guilty tingle. But Tyler would have never folded and given his woman away to another man.
That’s one thing that had helped Del accept her divorce from Eric. She’d lost respect for her ex-husband that day. She’d wanted to help him in his recovery, take an active part in saving her marriage. But after it was over and the blame started, she realized that she didn’t feel the same about Eric anymore. His petulant anger diving into depression and vicious outlashes made her see a part of him that she’d never seen—and couldn’t live with.
Things always happened for a reason. That night had happened to show her Eric’s true colors and to allow her to have the most precious person in her life, Seth.
As Tyler flowed with the traffic on the freeway heading west, Del stared out at the road, which gradually thinned back into empty desert.
“Tell me about your friends in Lafayette,” she asked into the silence. “You seem close.”
“It snuck up on me, but yeah. I went to Lafayette for a case, and I went to work for Alyssa as part of my cover. Through her husband, Luc, I met his cousin Deke, Deke’s brothers-in-law, Hunter and Logan, and Deke’s business partner, Jack. They’re all great, stand-up guys. We’ve been through a lot together, protecting some of their wives from stalkers and ass**les determined to hurt them.”
She frowned. “That sounds dangerous.”
“They have dangerous jobs. They’ve always had dangerous lives. We’ve got the adrenaline-junkie thing in common.”