She gulped down half her mimosa, then had to hold in a moan. That tasted really good.
Jason pulled out the chair beside her and sat. Gia had the distinct impression that he collected his thoughts and organized his words.
“I hope you’re willing to simply enjoy our time together, but if you genuinely need something to occupy you, come up with ideas and we’ll discuss them. Do you want children someday?”
The change of subject made her head spin. “Of course.”
He stood again and paced, paralleling the wall of windows along the north side of the kitchen with his long stride. Sharp and controlled, he pivoted to face her again when he reached the counter and ran out of floor.
“I do, too. And I want them with you. Let’s cut to the chase. Tell me what you need to stay with me and make that a reality.”
Gia blinked at him, unable to breathe for a long minute. “You want us to have children together?”
“Yes.”
Nothing in his expression told her what he might be feeling. The only thing she sensed was edginess, a hint of anxiety. He wanted this, probably more than he wished her to know.
She tried not to soften too much. After all, who knew why he’d chosen her to procreate with. So he wanted her. And he’d given her every reason to suspect he cared. But neither of those truths added up to a reason they should create life together.
“I don’t understand. What I need to stay? Um…” She tried to give him a coherent answer, but that proved hard with a nonsensical question.
“You know.” He gestured impatiently. “Tell me what I’ll need to provide in order for you to stay with me. A bigger house, a new car, diamonds, a trip to Paris… Whatever it is, consider it done.”
Was he serious? “First, I’d need a life with fewer problems. I have to figure out what to do about my family. You and I would need to work out our differences and find some common ground. Another house with safe stairs is a must once kids start walking.” She shrugged. “But buying me a car or jewelry or taking me overseas won’t fix anything unless… Was that supposed to be some bribe to induce me to remain your wife and have your children?”
He bristled. “It’s an honest exchange. I give you something you want so I can have something I want.”
The idea was completely distasteful. “What makes you think I would even accept something monetary to enter into motherhood?”
His face turned colder. “You would hardly be the first woman. Several of my mother’s friends had monetary provisions rewarding them for the birth of each planned pregnancy written into their prenuptials. Besides, once you accepted my offer to come here in exchange for a better divorce settlement, I saw no reason you wouldn’t be amenable.”
He’d thought wrong. Was that how marriage worked in his experience? “No! Children aren’t a clause in a contract. People should have them because they’re in love and want to grow their family so they can pass that love down to the next generation.”
He raised a dark brow at her, a silent rebuke. “Love is…something movie producers and greeting card companies use to manipulate our emotions so we’ll open our wallets. Usually, it’s lust, loneliness, or the desire to display the ‘right’ wife on your arm. Over time, ‘death do us part’ is more about one being too fond of the dollar signs in their bank account to engage in a messy divorce. Gia…” He shook his head. “Unconditional love and eternal devotion are seductive thoughts, but they don’t exist.”
Every word horrified her. She stood to face him, shock bouncing inside her. “That’s not true. I’ve seen them every day. I have no clue where you got your warped ideas but… If you really feel this way, why the hell did you marry me?”
“I wanted you.”
“We were already having sex,” she argued. “You didn’t need to marry me for more of that.”
“I wanted to call you mine. I still do. You fill some void I hadn’t realized existed in my life. I enjoy spending time with you, pampering you, and f**king you. I’d like a family since I didn’t have much of one as a kid. So I need to know what you require in order to make it happen. Give me your price.”
“Your love,” she choked.
His face closed up. “I could lie, but I’d rather not insult you. What else can I give you?”
Gia felt time stand still, the air stop. Pain crushed her, starting dead center in her chest and rapidly spreading like a disease.
“Without love, I can’t stay.”
“So that’s it? You’re going to divorce me on our anniversary and walk away because I won’t give you syrupy words I don’t believe in?”
“No.” She approached him on bare feet. “I’m going to let you go so you can find someone you will fall in love with so you can see how real it is.”
With a controlled sigh, he clenched a fist. “I don’t want ‘someone.’ I want you. I’ll treat you like a queen and give you the world. Can’t that be enough?”
Gia’s first instinct was to refuse. If she did, it would mean spending her life without Jason. Should she relinquish the man she loved over an ideal? Who was to say that he wouldn’t eventually realize he more than wanted her? That maybe he even loved her deep down? Or was she rationalizing because he had her heart and always would?