“It loosens me up.” His tone was pure defense.
“Your choice, but I’ll bet it makes you less sharp.” Ryan strolled to the minibar and withdrew an armful of the little bottles. “Looks like the old lady still has you on the wagon. You really ought to f**k her and loosen her up. I’ll be happy to help.”
Before Kimber could flay the man alive with her tongue or Jesse could retort, Ryan left the room. Bastard.
“Sorry,” Jesse muttered.
“You miss your old life,” she said, realizing it was the truth.
“I need to stop living like that. I can’t keep waking up every morning hungover next to Ryan and a woman whose name I don’t know. I need you to help me.” His dark eyes pleaded, filled with hope and shame and anger.
More alarm bells went off in her head, even as she felt…sorry for him. He wanted her to help him save himself. He didn’t actually want her. And she couldn’t rescue someone who wasn’t willing to rescue himself.
God, she was so confused. Jesse had been everything to her—or she thought he had been—until Deke and Luc. Until she’d lost her heart. She’d pinned hopes and dreams on Jesse. Now…it was clear she just didn’t fit here.
“Please help me.” He grabbed her hands and pulled her closer.
Kimber smelled his fresh citrus-scented soap and clean skin as he grabbed her suddenly and layered his mouth over hers. Soft. Like the strokes of a paintbrush or the touch of a butterfly’s wings. Sweet, like he’d lightly dusted the kiss with sugar.
But when he urged her mouth open and slid inside, she tasted the acrid desperation on his tongue and recoiled.
Instead of letting her go, Jesse pulled her closer. His fingers drifted into her hair, fisted around the long strands as he deepened the kiss. Kimber discreetly pushed at him. He resisted, plunging deeper inside. He was…taking something from her and begging for more. There was no giving on his part. He thought she had something he needed.
She didn’t. Nor did she want him. The kiss didn’t make her melt or burn or need.
Her heart…it wasn’t here. He was a friend, but nothing more. And after the show, she’d tell him that.
Quickly, she broke off the kiss. He pulled away with a sigh of regret.
“I’d better get dressed.” His voice cracked. “You, too. Wear something special.” With another flash of a smile, part excitement, part anxiety, he walked past her, down the hall, shutting the door behind him.
What the hell was that man up to?
The roar of the stadium and the decibel level of the music gave Kimber a headache. For over two hours, she’d been sitting backstage, first watching the opening act and trying to ignore the bimbo groupies fawning over Jesse. Now, she watched Jesse and his band winding their show to a close, playing their eclectic mixture of alternative anger, and soulful emotion, with a hint of something classical. And he was the perfect singer, with expressive eyes, not just believing every word he sang, but feeling them— whether that was a song about getting down and dirty or embracing eternal love.
Funny, but she was more moved by listening to Jesse than kissing him. She hated to admit why, didn’t want to consider the reasons her body had begun to ache desperately. Or why she had dreams—amazing, erotic dreams—all revolving around Deke and Luc.
Kimber missed them both, wished she could throw her arms around Deke and heal him. If she was really honest, she wished she could make him see her as something other than just a virgin, but a woman he could laugh with, smile with, live with…
The yearning to tell him that she loved him beat strong. Every bit as strong as her need to hear him say he loved her, too.
It isn’t going to happen.
Kimber accepted the reality with a sigh. Her future, the one she’d mapped out, was gone. Sighing, she watched absently as Jesse threw his sweat towel into the cheering crowd of mostly young girls. Several were topless, their br**sts bobbing as they danced under the artificial blue light. He smiled and saluted them.
God, she didn’t fit in here. She was going to have to tell him. And leave.
“Kimber.”
Her name. Someone was calling her name. Loudly. She blinked. Jesse was looking right at her, motioning her toward him. He wanted her to come on stage? In front of everyone? Animated now, even a little adamant, Jesse waved her toward him once more.
What the hell? With a shrug, she got off her stool and started out onto the stage.
Flashbulbs went off. The crowd quieted.
Microphone in hand, Jesse smiled and said, “It’s great to be back in Houston, my hometown!” The crowd cheered as he curled an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him, planting a kiss on her temple.
Mind racing, Kimber looked out at the crowd, nearly wobbling on her heels. Even though the bright stage lights blinded her from seeing the audience, she’d seen the vast size, the thousands out there, just before Jesse had taken the stage. Why had he pulled her out here in front of all these people? She couldn’t sing.