Tara knew that she shouldn’t do it, but the concern and warmth on his face drew her in. She needed comfort—from him. The why of that didn’t compute. He was the one who had helped to ruin her future, then spanked her into this hot mess. But for some reason, she knew only he could put her back together.
“Shh.” He cuddled her close, soothing her with a soft touch to her hair, down her back. “You did really well, baby.”
“No,” she sobbed. “I—I have to get control. This is un-p-professional.”
And it was humiliating to admit that, despite everything, Logan could still make her want him more than any other man.
Somewhere in that alpha male head of his, she feared that he’d labeled her not just a challenge, but the ultimate one. The one who got away. Other than the one time he’d knocked on her door a few years back and she’d slammed it in his face, he’d never contacted her after their breakup. Now, he sought to seduce the little lovesick twit back to his bed. She’d become his personal Mount Everest. Clinging to him made her feel stupid.
“Cherry, we’ve covered this. Your response is honest, and that’s what I need from you. You want to come?”
Yes. Desperately. And what kind of girl got off on having her ass smacked, especially by a guy trying to f**k her over for a second time?
Tara resisted answering, wanting so badly to keep clinging to his neck, drawing in his musky earth scent . . . and avoiding that question. Instead, she pulled away, letting her arms fall to her sides.
Logan shot her a stern glance. “Be honest. Did you want to come?”
“I . . .” She squeezed her eyes shut, then forced herself to face the truth. “Yes, Logan.”
He kissed her softly in reward. “Really good, baby. Soon. What else did you feel?”
How could she explain it? She shook her head. “Like a bunch of feelings welled up inside me. With every swat, there was physical pain, but somehow that released more of it inside me.”
“Pain you’ve been holding on to?”
“I guess.” She shrugged, playing it off. “I’m more emotional today since I lost a fiancé.”
He clasped her head in his hands and drew her gaze squarely to his. “Cherry, if he’d been really important to you, you’d still be with him now, trying to patch up your engagement, not here falling into subspace for me. Think about that tonight for me. Please.”
Tara blinked at him. God, was he right? She tried to wipe the emotion off her face, but feared that she was failing.
“And now I have something else to tell you.” He caressed her back, his face full of regret. “When you left, you forgot your phone. Bocelli couldn’t reach you, so he called Thorpe.”
Her stomach clenched with fear. She grabbed Logan. “Please tell me that Darcy isn’t . . .”
“Not that we know.” He soothed her shoulder with a light touch. “But the first submissive to disappear, Laken Fox? A fisherman off the coast of Key West found her body, bound, tortured, and strangled, early this morning.”
Chapter Seven
TARA felt the bottom fall out of her stomach. God, she was going to be sick.
“Th-They killed her? I thought their plans were to sell submissives and . . .”
Logan nodded, looking pensive. “Based on the fact that they found her in the U.S., I don’t think the victim had been sold yet. And given the description of her corpse, I’d say someone lost patience during the training or likes to play way outside the boundaries of the safe, sane, and consensual. These people are beyond hard core, Cherry. If you’re going to pursue this case—and I wish to hell you wouldn’t—then you have to set aside everything. You can’t hold back with me.”
Fear tasted brackish in her mouth, but Tara had no doubt about the resolution beating inside her. No way was she leaving Darcy or any other woman to suffer. No way was she giving up on this case. This had gone way beyond pleasing Adam or serving some uncertain ambition of being a field agent, and into crusading. She needed to save these victims.
Logan was right; she had to step up to the plate. Kidnapping and sex trafficking was terrible enough, but adding torture and murder upped the stakes. No matter how she felt about Logan personally or his motives, the last twenty-four hours had taught her that she’d be hard-pressed to hide her true responses from a well-trained Dom. Learning to submit was necessary for her mission. And if she was brutally honest, being submissive was filling some void inside her that she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge. It scared the crap out of her, and she’d been fighting Logan from the second she’d hit his dungeon door. Now, she didn’t have that luxury.
“Point taken,” she agreed. “I’ll focus completely on learning.”
Both relief and pride crossed his face as he brushed a hand over her cheek. “Excellent, Cherry. You’re so damn brave.”
Tara swallowed. She didn’t want to think about how good his approval made her feel. As Brad had pointed out, Logan had wreaked a lot of misery on her life. If she was going to truly submit to him, then she had to put that out of her head. But she had to protect herself somehow. Otherwise, she wouldn’t make it through this training with her heart intact.
“You have to promise me something.”
He cocked his head. “Tell me, and I’ll consider it.”