like a stallion with a mare in season. She had only to touch me."
Raoul leaned forward, jabbing a finger to emphasize his point. "That's because she persuaded you to that vow of fidelity. I always said it was unnatural."
"I persuaded myself to it, Raoul. It seemed right, considering what we were asking of God. And," Galeran admitted, "I've never wanted or taken another woman."
Raoul's mouth slackened with shock. "There. You see! Bewitched."
"Raoul, you might see that as a sign of bewitchment, but it's only a sign of devotion. If ever a woman conquers your wandering affections, you'll probably feel the same way. I met and loved Jehanne before I had much interest in wandering. And she is a special woman." He saw Raoul gather breath to speak. "But not a sorceress. She's the most down-to-earth woman I know. Which reminds me. Don't embarrass Aline."
Raoul's brows rose. "Your wife's bantam cousin? What have I done to her?"
"Asked her to bathe you."
"Why not?" Then Raoul flashed Galeran a wary glance. "I didn't ask your wife to attend to me, however. I suggested she send one of the other women."
"That would hardly show proper respect to a guest."
"The situation would never have arisen if the little cousin had attended to it.
Why didn't she?"
Galeran poured the last of the wine into their goblets. "Aline's always been very modest around men, despite being the only girl in a family of boys. A few years back she went to live at St. Radegund's convent, thinking to take vows there. She left only because Jehanne needed companionship whilst I was away."
"Then if men make her nervous, it's time she returned to the cloister."
Galeran smiled wryly. "She's doubtless staying on guard. She's a fierce creature for one so small. But once she's sure I won't hurt Jehanne or the babe, she'll doubtless take the veil."
Raoul sipped the last of his wine. "It seems rather a waste."
"Why? She's an ideal nun - clever, practical, and with : no interest in men."
"I can't quite envision it. But I suppose since nuns are supposed to be brides of Christ, He should get some of the pretty, lively ones."
Galeran almost choked on his wine. "One day, a thunderbolt will come down from the sky to turn you into a cinder." But then he considered his friend. "So," he added thoughtfully, "you find her pretty and lively, do you?"
"Oh, no!" Raoul raised his hands. "Keep your mind on your own affairs.
Pretty and lively doesn't mean I want to become entangled with her."
"But - "
"But what are you going to do about your wife? Do you think you can just say, 'There, there, we'll forget all about it'?"
"That's turning the conversation with a heavy hand... ." Galeran took a moment to wipe his knife clean, first on the remains of the bread, then on the linen cloth. "No, I don't suppose I can brush it aside when she has her brat at the breast."
He regretted the word brat as soon as it was out. None of this was the child's fault - Donata's fault. He must think of her as Donata. Donata should not suffer for her mother's sin.
"Ah, well." Raoul looked at him far too shrewdly. "Perhaps you'll see your way in time."
By silent agreement they went off to their beds.
Once there, however, Galeran couldn't help but think of Jehanne. Their loving that morning had eased him, yet could not touch a deeper hunger - the hunger to be with her in harmony as in the past, playing with each other as musicians play with instruments, drawing tunes both new and old simply for the joy of it.
After a sleepless hour, he left the bed and went into the chapel to kneel before the altar and pray.
First he rubbed away the stain of doubt that had crept into his mind. God did not snatch back gifts just because humans were frail. Galeran knew he had done his best in the Holy Land, that he had played his part in all the battles. As for his revulsion at the extent of the slaughter in the streets of Jerusalem, his sudden conviction that a true God would not call for this . . .
Well, it had either been a valid insight or a weakness of faith, and God would redress the first or forgive the second.
He would not kill a child in revenge.
Galeran continued to pray, and peace settled on his soul.
Jerusalem and Jehanne had both shaken his faith in religion, but they had