control everything even though he was terrified that if he succeeded in controlling things well enough, he'd never actually claim his bride at all.
"You were right," he whispered. "You should have married someone older."
"Why?" She sounded amused. "He'd only have died the sooner."
Galeran stared at the ceiling, fists clenched. "He'd have known what to do. I don't, Jehanne. I've never done this before."
Her fingers made a small, nervously reassuring movement against his tight chest. "Nor have I, but I know what bit goes where."
"So do I." But he didn't know when, or how. . . .
Her hand moved down like a trickle of fire and found the source of his anguish and hopes.
He gasped.
So did she.
"I didn't expect it to be quite so hard," she said. But instead of shrinking away in maidenly modesty, she pushed the covers back to look, fingers testing him. He had to drag her hand away before he exploded. They made a little fight of it and ended up face-to-face, looking at each other - it seemed - for the first time.
"Don't, Jehanne."
"Does it hurt?"
"Yes. But it's not that- - "
"Then use it."
Naked beneath him, veins visible beneath her fine skin, she seemed impossibly fragile. "I'm afraid I'll hurt you."
"You're supposed to."
"I don't want to hurt you." He tried to move away, but she held him with hands and legs, reminding him that she wasn't fragile at all.
"Don't be afraid. My nurse told me" - she began to pinken in a way he found both fascinating and immensely desirable - "she said it would go easier if I was ready, and if I was ready I'd be creamy. . . ." Her voice dropped to a whisper and her cheeks turned full red. "I've been ready for weeks, Galeran, and I'm . . . I'm ready now."
She took his hand and guided it between her legs to creamy, hot folds, proving the truth of her words, opening herself, easing under him. . . .
His suddenly mindless body followed his hand like a plow after the team, finding her, broaching her, filling her, using her.
He had never expected it to be like that - connected to his gropings with the maids as an inferno is connected to a candle flame; connected even to the times he'd relieved himself as a hearth fire is to wildfire.
He collapsed over her when he was done, and she pushed at him, gasping, "Galeran, I can't breathe!"
He moved away hastily. "I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?" Then, seeing the answer in her face, he added, "If I did, it was your fault."
"My fault?"
"I could have waited if you hadn't been so bold."
"It wouldn't have mattered how long you waited," she snapped. "It is the nature of men to rut, and the fate of women to bleed."
He tried awkwardly to comfort her. "Now that you're a virgin no longer, it won't hurt again."
"How would you know?" With that, she turned away.
So, despite the fact that he would have liked to repeat the wonderful exercise, he turned the other way and eventually went to sleep.
The next day the sheet was displayed to confirm their act. Galeran was congratulated as if he had defeated a dragon, and Jehanne was fussed over as if she'd been injured.
Which he supposed she had been.
Despite male approval, he felt rather miserable. Presumably none of the men, especially Fulk, knew how violently he had taken Jehanne and that she was unhappy about it.
The only thing to do was refrain from repeating the act until she was healed. But when would that be?
When they retired to bed the next night, he asked if she still hurt. "Only a little," she said in a resigned tone that killed any desire he felt.
On the other hand, he was highly frustrated. He didn't want to inflict himself upon an unwilling and wounded wife, but having tasted sex, he wanted more. He briefly thought of the obliging maids, but that wouldn't do.
The next night he asked again if she still hurt, and she said, "No." With a sigh of relief he entered her and found the pleasure he longed for, remembering this time to support his weight himself. But even in his climax he was more aware and knew that Jehanne was unhappy.
Afterward, he gathered her into his arms. "What is it, sweeting? What do you want?"
He thought she wouldn't answer, but then she said, "I want what you have."