Shattered Rose (Winsor Series) - By T L Gray Page 0,99

pushed him away, not wanting anything that would make me break down again.

“I’m fine. I’m just going to clean up a little and go to bed, so I can get back to the hospital tomorrow.” My voice was as vacant as my heart felt.

“Avery, you don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here for you,” Parker insisted, once again trying to draw me in.

I put my hands up to stop him again, not wanting to be touched. “I’m fine, Parker, really. I just want to be alone for a little while.”

He seemed frustrated at what I was saying, but at a loss as to how to reach me.

“Please Parker…just let me be alone for while. I promise I’ll call you tomorrow.”

He finally agreed and kissed me on the cheek before he left, glancing back at me one more time, hoping I’d change my mind. I shut and locked the door and went to my room to put on sweats and take down my hair. What had begun as the perfect night, turned into the worst of my life.

I grabbed a trash bag from the kitchen and started desperately filling it with all the bottles and cups that were strewn around the apartment. After I had filled three bags, I pulled out the kitchen cleaner and scrubbed each counter with all my might, hoping with each brush, I could erase the horror that had happened here.

I grabbed another bag, went into Issy’s room and pulled off the sheets that were stained in vomit and alcohol. I threw them resentfully in the bag and felt the tears start to streak down my face. I wanted to scream how unfair it was to take her right when things were going so good. Then I felt something against my foot as I threw the bag out of the room. It was her flask, the one I had given her that obviously held the last drop of alcohol she drank before passing out.

I was suddenly slammed with a weight of guilt so heavy it pushed me to the floor. It was my fault. Surely, Jake would never let her drink so much. She must have kept it hidden, and I had provided her the means to do so. Sobs racked my body as I felt desperately incapable of calming down. It was me. I did this.

I stood, shaking, trying to get my anxiety under control. I ran to my bathroom and leaned over the toilet, holding back the necklace Parker had given me so that it wouldn’t fall in my face. I suddenly felt nothing but contempt for it and took it off violently, throwing it on my bed where I wouldn’t have to look at it. What a farce! I thought angrily. I’m not strong…I’m nothing.

I put my fingers down my throat and allowed all the pain and fear and guilt I was feeling to be washed away. The numbness was short lived as usual, and I slowly got up off the floor, feeling just as terrible and defeated as I had before, only more exhausted.

I walked back into Issy’s room, determined to finish my task and was jarred once again by the emptiness of it. I walked by her bed and saw a little stuffed bear on the floor. It was weathered and old, as if it had been used for years. I picked it up, bringing it to my nose to take in the scent. It smelled like her perfume, rich and expensive with a mix of exotic fruits and rich floral.

I immediately knew I had to bring it to her. I grabbed a bag out of her closet and quickly packed it with essentials she would want if she woke up. I shook my head. When she woke up. Her little bear and favorite pajamas sat on the top as I zipped the bag.

I was surprised how alert I felt driving to Asheville, even though the sun was rising and I had only slept for a couple of hours in the car. The nursing staff didn’t give me any hassle, just as Jake had promised, when I came in and led me right to her room. The blinds were drawn and the room was fairly dark, making the lights and sounds from the respirator even more distressing.

Jake was asleep in the recliner with his arms folded and his head lowered as if he had fought sleep as long as he could. Issy looked frightfully pale and fragile under all the