"No, you couldn't," I said. "Lilith will be looking for that. If she even guesses I'm heading for Shadows Fall, she'll stop me."
And that was that. People finished their drinks, said their good-byes, and set about preparing themselves for what was to come. Shotgun Suzie took me to one side, and looked at me solemnly. She put a leather-gloved hand on my chest and let it rest there, like a butterfly on a wall.
"I wanted us to have a moment together," she said, in her cold calm voice. "Because… things can always go wrong, and we might not get a chance to say a proper good-bye, later. We've been through so much together, and if this is it, well… I need to say something to you, John. You… matter to me. No-one's mattered to me for a long time. Not even me. Perhaps especially not me. But you… made me want to live again. So I could share my life with you. I care for you, John. I wanted you to know that."
"I knew that, Suzie…"
"Shut up and let me say this. It isn't easy. I love you, John Taylor, and I always will."
She made herself hug me. Her leather jacket creaked loudly as she put her arms around me, and her bandoliers of bullets pressed hard against my chest. She put her head forward, and deliberately pressed her unscarred cheek against mine. Flesh to flesh. I held her gently, as though she was brittle and might break. I could feel the effort involved, in what she was doing, of how much strength it took her to do a simple thing like this, and I was so proud of her I could hardly get my breath.
"If we do both make it out of this alive," she said, very quietly, her mouth right next to my ear, "I can't promise I'll ever be able to be a woman for you, John. But I will try."
"Suzie… it doesn't matter…"
"Yes it does! It matters to me. Do you love me, John?"
"Of course I love you, Suzie. Now and forever, and all the times between. I'd die for you, if I had to."
"I'd much rather you lived for me."
She let go of me and stood back. I let go of her immediately. I knew better than to push it. She looked at me, her face apparently entirely unmoved.
"I know about the future Suzie. I know what happened to her, here in this bar. You can't keep secrets in a dump like this. You mustn't worry about it, John. The future is what we make it."
"That's what worries me," I said.
And so, finally, I led my brave little band of heroes out of the bar. Shotgun Suzie, Razor Eddie, Tommy Oblivion, and Dead Boy. I eased open the door, slowly, silently, and one by one we crept out into the narrow cobble-stoned back alley. It smelled really bad. The piled-up bodies I'd expected from Suzie's defence were gone, and it was best not to wonder where, but the blood and gore remained, splashed up the alley walls and soaking the cobbled ground. The air was hot and heavy, thick with old smoke, and an overbearing sense of a world running down, of things coming to an end. There were screams and roars and howls, all the sounds of death and destruction, horror and fury. The Nightside might be going down for the last time, but it sure as hell wasn't going down quietly. I set off down the alley at a steady pace, ignoring the blood splashing under my shoes, trying hard to radiate confidence and a strong sense of purpose.
Suzie was right there at my side, shotgun at the ready, happy and smiling like a woman on her way to a really good party. Tommy and Eddie and Dead Boy moved along with us, and together we made our way to the end of the alley and looked cautiously out into the main street.
Fires blazed everywhere. Dead vehicles sprawled the length of the road, overturned and abandoned. A hearse had been broken apart from the inside out, and a taxi lay on its side with a wooden stake hammered through its engine block. Maddened crowds swept back and forth under a flickering twilight of burning buildings and half-smashed neon signs, attacking everything in sight. The noises they made didn't sound human any more. Reason had been blasted from their minds, by loss and horror and Lilith's will, leaving them only the most basic