Shame the Devil (Portland Devils #3) - Rosalind James Page 0,55

baby and a DNA test. A whole lot of people, though, said I ruined his life, you’re exactly right about that. He’d rushed the school all the way to the state football championship the year before, and all of a sudden, because some stupid, slutty fifteen-year-old had willingly had unprotected sex with him, he was going to jail as a sex offender, and it was going to mark him forever. They said a lot of things. It wasn’t any fun at all, and I felt pretty ashamed for a long time, but the bottom line is that he was the one who was supposed to know better. I’m not saying his life wasn’t ruined, but I didn’t pull him into that car. He ruined his life.”

“Plus,” Dyma said, “he ruined your life. You were the one being humiliated, who couldn’t even finish college. Why didn’t people care about that?”

Jennifer was still trying not to care that Harlan and Owen were listening to all this, but she couldn’t help but notice how serious and still Owen looked, and how furious Harlan did. She hadn’t known he could look like that. She’d started out this conversation feeling embarrassed, but now, she was suddenly overwhelmed by giddiness, the feeling you got when you did … well, some reckless act. She couldn’t think what, because she didn’t do reckless acts.

Maybe she was giddy, though, because there really was nothing left to lose here. It was over. She’d had that baby, and she’d raised her. It was all a long time ago, and it didn’t have to be the thing that defined her forever. It had been that for too long. Dyma was going to college, and she was thirty-four years old and maybe leaving town herself. Time to leave the shame behind, or at least start trying.

“Nope,” she told Dyma. “He didn’t ruin my life. You know why not? Because of Grandma. The guidance counselor told her to send me to the alternative school, where they had programs for ‘girls in this position.’ I know, because I was there. Grandma said it was my life and my decision, so I should be there. I was almost six months pregnant, and there was no hiding anything anymore. Everybody knew. My best friend Nicole was still my friend, but let me tell you, not very many other people were, and the counselor pointed out my ‘embarrassment.’ You know what Grandma did? She shot right back with, ‘Why should she go anywhere? So she’s pregnant. There’s nothing wrong with her brain, and she’s staying right here. She’s smart as a whip, she gets good grades, and she doesn’t belong over there. She’s graduating from this school, and then she’s going to college, and you can all just figure out how to help her. That’s your job, right? So get busy and figure out how to do it.’”

“Grandma was a badass,” Dyma said.

“Grandma,” Jennifer said, “was a redhead. Anyway, the joke’s on all of them, really, because Danny went to prison, and I got you, which was a much better deal. And a great job with Blake, and a new job coming up that, who knows? Might be even better. Also, don’t tell me the Tao has nothing to see about this. Don’t let me down.”

“Care about what other people think,” Dyma said, “and you will always be their prisoner.” She still looked troubled, though. Too much to learn at once, maybe. Too much growing up for one day.

Jennifer might know how she felt.

“There you go,” she said. “See?” She smiled at her daughter, and Dyma unbuckled her seat belt, came over, and gave her a hug.

“I’m doing a display of affection,” she said, “because really, Mom, that’s pretty awesome. And I’ve known for a long time, even though I didn’t figure it all out until middle school. It’s probably why I listened to you about sex, too, so there you go. Unintended consequences, but in a good way, right?” She looked over at Owen, waved, and said, “Virgin here. Are you impressed?”

“Not by that,” he said, not missing a beat. “Or not exactly. I’m always impressed when people make their own choices and the choices aren’t actually stupid. Or when they’re brave. That’s impressive, too. I’ve got another Tao quote. ‘Your own positive future begins in this moment. All you have is right now. Every goal is possible from here.’”

“They always sound so easy,” Jennifer said. “So reasonable. So inspirational. Am I the only one who isn’t