Shakespeares Counselor Page 0,71

suddenly realized that Gerry must have found out, there at the end, who the stalker was. I hoped, after all he'd sacrificed for the knowledge, he'd had a moment's satisfaction. Had he been dreadfully surprised ... or had the killer's face been well known to him?

I was glad to lie down when I got home, but it was a good, tired feeling; not exhaustion. I watched a few shows on television: a biography of an actor I'd only heard of in passing, a documentary on the CIA. It was embarrassing to realize that the phone ringing actually woke me up.

"Yes?"

"Lily." Jack.

"Hi."

"I won't be home tonight. I'm going to start this job right away. If the CEO likes the job I do, there'll be more business from this firm."

"What does he want you to do?"

"She." I felt embarrassed. "She wants me to do very thorough background checks on the applicants for this very sensitive job." He was telling me the essence without the particulars, but that was all right with me. "Have you been taking it easy?" Jack asked, suspicion evident in his voice.

"Well, I did do a little work today."

"You know what Carrie said, Lily!"

"I just couldn't stand it any more. I had to do something or die of boredom."

"Lily, you have to mind the doctor."

"Yes," I said, keeping my voice gentle.

"I love you."

"I know. I love you, too. I got to go, Jack. Someone's at the door."

"Answer it while I'm on the phone."

I went to the door and looked through the peephole Jack had installed for me. "It's Bobo, looks like."

"Oh, okay," Jack said, relieved. I cocked my head as I opened the door. Jack, who was sometimes jealous, had never gotten the fact that there was actually something to be jealous of with Bobo. I was grateful for his lack of acuity where this particular Winthrop was concerned. I sometimes felt very guilty when I caught an unexpected glimpse of Bobo and experienced a definite physical reaction to the sight of him.

"Bye, Jack," I said, and he told me he would see me the next day.

I waved Bobo inside, feeling unusually curious about what he would have to say. This time, sure I was safe from - well, safe - I let him in and shut the door behind him.

"Are you okay with... ?" he tried just waving his hands a little, not wanting to come right out and say it.

"With you having sex with a friend of mine?"

"Yeah, that."

"Of course, Bobo. You're over eighteen and so is Janet." Not for anything in the world would I have explained my more complicated feelings. I would hardly admit them to myself.

But, as he often did, Bobo surprised me. And this was why I never quite lost a link to this unusual golden boy, this was why despite the difference in our ages and our lives there was a relationship between us. "It's not just that, and you know it," he said, his anger evident in the way he was standing, the tension in his arms.

I held up my hands in front of me, palms outward. I meant him to stop; we were not going to get serious, here. I'd had enough of that the night before. My long talk with Tamsin Lynd still griped me.

"You have to tell me if it's true."

Suddenly, everything grew clear. "You heard I was married."

"Yes. Is it true?"

"Tell me you didn't take Janet to bed out of spite."

"Is it true?"

"Yes, it's true."

"How long?"

"A month."

"Why were you keeping it a secret?"

"It isn't anyone's business," I said, not caring if I sounded harsh.

"But it is," he said. "It is. You should have told me."

I lost my temper. "Why? Were you going to marry me?"

"No! But a married woman, you shouldn't even think about her!"

"So, if I'm married, I'm sacred to you, you can't lust after me."

"That's right! That's exactly right!"

"Then end this, right here and now. I am married."

"Can you give up thinking of me? Has being married made any difference to you? Because I know you. I know you think of me."

"Bobo, this is too weird. Neither of us has any business thinking of the other. This is all wrong."

"And now you're married."

"Yes."

"You love him?"

"Of course. More than anything."

"But - "

"But nothing. This - we have to seal this off. This is over."

"We've said this before. Or you have."

"Are you saying I'm encouraging you in this idea you have, that we should go to bed together?"

"No, I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is,