my body feels weary, and yet my head is buzzing and my thoughts are restless and all over the place. I feel that way now, in bed after my bath, my hair still damp, my feet tucked under my nightgown as I pick at the frayed hem that reminds me of Luke’s jeans. When I had arrived home after making my bucket list (of sorts) with Luke, I had said my goodnights to everyone, eaten dinner in my room and gotten ready for bed. I have been here ever since, braiding and unbraiding my hair, changing the compact disc in my little round player and thinking of things as varied as time travel, my sister, Luke, and the art show. I wish I could call Penny and ask her if what Luke proposed was a date. I suppose Meli would know; she and Will must have started out somewhere. Then I stop myself; Luke and I are hardly going to end up that route, it’s only an art show. Although I am alone, I blush furiously. It’s just that I’ve had no practice with this sort of thing. Henrique used to try to hold my hand back in Portugal at school, and once he tried to kiss me but I ducked just in time to avoid his red lips and one of the other kids had come running up just in time to cause a distraction. After that, I avoided him as much as possible. But Luke isn’t like Henrique. Henrique smelled like chicken feathers and soiled clothes, not like soap and spice. I am in over my head, I think. And with that realization – frightening and delicious both – I drift off.
I sleep long and hard, much past my normal waking hour and I only awaken when Prue marches in my room and unceremoniously yanks my blankets off.
“Family meetin,’” she barks. “Up with you!”
I want to pull my pillow over my head and ignore her, but experience has taught me that will end in disaster. Most girls get to go through a lovely teenage rebellion, disrespecting and lazy, full of eye rolling and tantrums, but most girls haven’t been raised by Prue.
“Yes, ma’am,” I mutter, halfheartedly. When I sit up, my head aches the way it always does after too many nights in a row with Nightfall pills and I feel sluggish. I also feel hungry though, and I can smell bacon sizzling. I trade my nightgown for gray sweats and a T-shirt and pad barefoot out of my room.
I had almost forgotten the existence of Bar in my foggy morning state but smile when I seem him seated between the brothers, sipping orange juice. He wears the same suit and his hair is neatly combed. His hands though, shake, in their grip of his juice glass. I fix a plate with pancakes and extra bacon and sit down across from them.
“Alright, let the family meeting begin,” I say, trying to sound cheerful, though the sight of Bar makes me inexplicably sad. I am the last to arrive and the last to eat.
Everyone glances sideways at each other, looking like they are trying not to. What is going on? Finally, Will clears his throat.
“We think it’s time to split up, Sonnet,” he says gently, placing his hand over mine. I chew in confusion, not responding. “We all know small groups of only two or three Lost tend to travel a bit less. We’ve been here two years and we know our time here is growing to a close. Meli and I want to put down roots, at least as much as we can. We’re going to move out.”
“We talked about this a little,” Meli interjects, her eyes meeting mine. “Remember?”
No, not really, but it may have been the other day when she barged in on me soaking in the bath.
“But there’s no guarantee that you will stay here any longer,” I object.
“Yes, but we have to try. I’m going to have a baby,” Meli smiles and pats her stomach. “Can you believe it? And you know how much I hate traveling anyway. If we can just put it off until the baby comes at least…I just think it will be better.”
“Oh.” I feel foolish for not coming up with a better response, but I’m so surprised. Will moves his hand from where it had rested over mine and clasps Meli’s instead.
“That’s not all, my dear,” Harry sighs. “Matthias and I are going away too. We’re going to take