The Shadows (Black Dagger Brotherhood #13) - J. R. Ward Page 0,182

of them seemed to go off into infinity. They had but this middle point of the here and now, and they had to make it count.

“I don’t need to mate you in a ceremony,” she said.

“No?”

“We’re living the vows right now.”

“So you’re saying you won’t mate me.”

“Are you asking?” she teased.

“You want me to one-knee it?”

Sinking down to the floor, he took her hands. “Selena, will you be my shellan? My one and only? I don’t have a ring, but we can go get you one—it’s what the humans do. Plus, I don’t know, I kind of want to buy you something expensive.”

Her first instinct was the one she had been trained to have—a demure deferral of the attention, the fuss, the pleasure.

But, in the words of her male, Fuck. That.

“I would love that. I would love everything, a ceremony, a ring, a party, the whole thing.” Opening her heart wide, she let the love in. “Everything!”

“That’s my queen,” he murmured. “That’s what I’m talking about.”

And that was how she ended up … engaged.

As she bent down to kiss him, it seemed utterly bizarre that the pair of them kept ricocheting back and forth between such incredibly opposite emotions. But this situation seemed to amplify the highs and lows, funneling feelings and experiences through a bullhorn until everything was too big to contain.

“So, a ring?” she said against his mouth.

“Yup, a ring.”

He ran his hands around the back of her thighs and stroked up and down. “And maybe a little sumthin’-sumthin’ you can’t get at a store.”

“And what might that be?” she drawled.

“Oh, you know. I’ll just have to show you upstairs…”

SIXTY-ONE

“Yeah, I heard you arguing during the day.”

As iAm spoke, he glanced into the mirror over his bathroom sink. His brother was standing behind him, in the doorway to his bedroom, and the guy was dressed in all black, looking like he was right out of a magazine.

Clearly ready to take his female out again for the night.

“Sounded heavy,” iAm tacked on.

“It was bad for a little while.” Trez came in and sat down on the lip of the Jacuzzi. “But we got through it. I asked her to mate me.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks.”

Picking up the can of Barbasol, iAm hit the go button and then patted down his cheeks and chin. “How’s she doing?”

“Okay.”

iAm knew tell the male was lying. The tells were all over the place, but mostly in the way his brother didn’t meet his eyes.

“What’s on your mind, Trez.”

Trez cracked his knuckles one by one. “She doesn’t want her remains to be … like, where her sisters are up there.” He pointed to the ceiling, but meant the heavens above. “So, you know, when the time comes, I’m thinking of disposing of—”

As that deep voice cracked and couldn’t keep going, iAm forgot about his razor and went over, tightening the towel that was around his waist and sitting down beside his brother. “Shit.”

Trez rubbed his face. “Yeah, that about covers it. Anyway, I’m thinking I’ll build a pyre for her. Rehv’s people do that. That way, she’ll be…” He cleared his throat. “She’ll be free. She wants to be free at the end. You know.”

iAm shook his head. “I hate this for you.”

“Me, too. Guess I was born under the wrong star in a major way.”

“What can I do?”

“Nothing. Just listen to me and forgive me if I say the wrong thing or get pissy. The stress is fucking crazy.”

They sat side by side in silence—because sometimes that was all you could do for someone you loved: There were paths that had to be walked alone. And that just sucked.

He wanted to ask how long. But that was the question of the hour, the one that nobody could answer.

“Are you going to have a ceremony?” iAm asked.

“I don’t think she wants that. I’m not sure what the Chosen do for funerals—”

“I was talking about the mating.”

“Oh, yeah. Ah, yeah, I guess.” Trez slapped his knees and got to his feet. “I gotta head out. I’m going to take her out tonight and get her a ring. I want to put a star from the heavens on her finger. Then she’s going to cook me dinner up north at Rehv’s.”

“Sounds good.” iAm looked at the guy. “Listen, this is none of my business—”

“Everything is your business. You’re my blooded brother.”

“Does Selena know about what’s doing with the s’Hisbe? About your … situation with the Princess?”

Trez shrugged. “I told her. A while ago. But I’m not thinking about all that