The Shadows (Black Dagger Brotherhood #13) - J. R. Ward Page 0,180

to Doc Jane’s now?” he said.

“I’d rather you answer the question.”

Trez gathered up her hands in his own. “If it will give you peace of mind, then yes, fine. I promise that…” Okay, he couldn’t actually say it. “I’ll keep going.”

Relief loosened up her face, her shoulders, her entire body. “Thank you. That really helps. You won’t ever know how much that really helps me right now.”

He kissed her softly, and then got up and went into the closet. He had no clue what he put on himself, but he covered up the naughty bits and even remembered to put on deodorant. When he came out, his stomach felt like it had been dredged.

“You ready to go to the clinic?”

She glanced around the room as if searching for something. Or maybe she just wanted to put off the inevitable a little longer.

“I’m so sorry about your window,” she blurted.

“That’s okay. The shutter is still in place, so that’ll cut the breeze and the cold.”

“And the lamp.”

“Like I care.”

She nodded and stood up. She was wearing black skinny jeans and a loose white blouse—and he was struck by how good she looked in normal clothes, not all that Chosen formality. And it was funny, her language was loosening up too, becoming more vernacular.

Goddamn, he thought … he would really love to have had children with her.

The trip down to the clinic felt endless, and Selena wasn’t sure whether that was a bad or a good thing. On the one hand, she was ready to have the news just so she could deal with whatever it was. On the other, she would have been content to live in the no-know zone a little longer.

Trez held her hand all the way to the training center, not letting her go even when he put the various passcodes in or when they had to go one after the other through the supply closet. Walking down the corridor to Doc Jane’s, she thought about all the doors they could have entered instead of the one they were destined for.

As they came to the examination room, she looked up at him. “I couldn’t do this without you.”

He leaned down and brushed her mouth with his. “The good news is that you won’t have to.”

Together, they entered the clinical space. Instantly, Selena had trouble breathing, that chemical scent and all the shiny-shiny getting to her once again. And the choking sensation got worse as Doc Jane and Manny straightened from the computer screen over at the desk and put on identical, professional smiles.

“Bad news, huh,” she said. As both doctors started to prevaricate, she cut them off. “Please. Respect me and my time enough not to waste words trying to sugarcoat all this. Tell me what my body told you.”

“We see some change in the joints.” Doc Jane stepped back. “Everywhere we X-rayed.”

Well … didn’t that take the starch out of her. Even though she had expected that very answer.

The two doctors were taking turns explaining things, and Trez was nodding like he was tracking the conversation. She, however, was focused on the computer screen’s side-by-side comparison of two images, one that had been taken after the last episode had happened … and the other that had been taken hours ago. Separated by a mere two days … the joints now had a gray haze in the spaces between the bones.

“It’s as if it is kindling,” Doc Jane said. “Maybe your body is holding it at bay?”

“For how long?” Trez asked.

“We have no idea.” Manny reached forward and adjusted and readjusted the contrast of the moniter, as if searching for something. “We would like to suggest that you come in for more imaging every six hours for the next day. That way we can see if things are continuing to change.”

“Are you in pain right now?” Doc Jane asked.

“No.”

“Because we can give you relief if you need it.”

Trez spoke up. “Are there any medications we can try?”

Dearest Virgin Scribe, her brain seemed to have shut down.

“Well, we’ve talked it over.” Manny glanced at Jane. “And we’re stuck.”

Doc Jane took the lead. “One of the things we’ve been considering is anti-inflammatories. Oral steroids would be problematic, because they suppress the immune system and it’s unclear to what extent an episode is being held off precisely by your body’s own defenses.”

“Your white blood cell count is very high,” Manny cut in. “So there’s definitely something happening right now.”

“And steroid injections into the joints, even if we stuck with only the