I humour her, but my gaze keeps straying to Shadow. What are we, exactly? It’s weird to imagine us doing the boyfriend, girlfriend thing, but at the same time, I don’t know what else we can be. Fuck buddies? Friends with benefits? Ha. Shadow and I can never be just that. What we have is too volatile to label.
He seems so normal that even his endless grins are carefree. Seeing him like this does something to me especially when I recall his past.
Elle’s words from this morning return. Just like Ghost, Shadow was also kidnapped and made into a killer. Before he became hard as steel, Shadow was a baby thrown in rubbish and a boy beaten up and bullied.
Is it even wrong that he turned the way he is? If I didn’t have Liam and Elle since a young age, I don’t know what would’ve happened to me. The three of us were messed up in our own ways, but we stood for each other and didn’t allow the system to bring us down. We didn’t have any choice except to fight and claw our way out.
Shadow and his colleagues didn’t have a choice either. Either they lived as killers or died.
After the Georges, Shadow takes me for breakfast in a small town restaurant that I eat at sometimes. I dislike how the waitress bats her eyelashes at him when she serves our table. He doesn’t even spare her a glance, but I shoot her a back off glare.
“Wait.” I swallow the bite of my waffles, still fuming. “Did you sleep with anyone after I left?”
Shadow cocks an eyebrow while smearing a shitload of syrup on his waffles. “Why do you care? You left.”
I feel like throwing up what little I had of breakfast. Elle said Shadow spent a lot of energy searching for me, so I hoped he didn’t have time for anyone else. The fact that he moved on so soon slices a shard through my aching heart.
“So what? Are you cheating on someone with me?” My voice comes out in a pained murmur.
A devilish smile lifts the corner of his mouth. “I never looked at another woman, let alone touch one.”
“What…?”
“The only thing I fucked was my hand while fantasising about you.” He stuffs the waffle in his mouth.
My cheeks heat and I can’t help smiling.
The waffle drops to his plate as he tilts his head to the side. The coolness disappears and only the fearsome, possessive side of Shadow remains. “Are you asking because you’ve been with someone?”
As if I’d ever look at another man after he ruined me. Still, I ask out of curiosity, “Will you leave me if I did?”
A muscle ticks in his jaw. Tick. Tick. Tick. He shakes his head once. “I’ll kill the bastard and fuck you until you know you only belong to me.”
I’d laugh if I thought he was joking. He isn’t. This part of Shadow is terrifying, but I can’t help being dragged into his orbit. I don’t even get to fight it anymore.
With a smile, I cover his big hand with my smaller one. “It’s only you. It’s always been you.”
He tugs me over and slams his lips to mine, kissing me so savagely and so thoroughly that a few teenagers break down in giggles all around us.
Shadow ignores them and only lets me go when I’m nearly out of breath and almost begging for him to take me somewhere private where we can finish.
I’m so screwed.
Once we’re done with breakfast, Shadow helps with my usual grocery shopping. He’s so carefree and amicable today, I resist pinching myself to make sure this isn’t another one of my nasty dreams.
Roaming all over the town with Shadow is one of the best things I’ve done in ages. I laugh more than I did in years. His hand drapes possessively on the small of my back. Every time he touches me, I’m tempted to kiss the hell out of him. I only stop because we’re in public and neither of us will be satiated after a kiss.
Still, we spend the morning and all the way to lunch in town. I basically give him a tour, introducing him around.
On the ride back to the house, I ask. “Do you hate your parents?”
He’s focused on the bumpy road. “They’re not important enough for me to hate them. I didn’t even know them. Nonna is the closest I have to a parent.”