lift myself, but he buries a strong hand in my hair and cages me in place.
“You only get to shut the fuck up and feel what I did all these months.”
“No, please. I don’t want our first time to be like this.” I loathe the tears battling to break free and the weakness I have for him. Because even if he took me like this, I’d still want him with every particle in me.
“You wanted to break me, didn’t you? Mission accomplished. But you know what? I hold grudges.” His lips hover near my earlobe and he whispers in hot, dark words. “I’ll break you, too.”
I give up fighting the tears and let them loose. Frustration at both him and myself gnaws at me. Why can’t he understand that I broke myself back then? That in leaving him, I left a piece of me? That’s what I meant in the note. I wrote in bold letters that he broke me.
“Go ahead. Do it!” I scream my pent up energy. “Make me hate you!”
“Don’t you already?”
“Just do it!” I sob.
I escaped him because hating him wasn’t an option, not even when I was supposed to. I was scared of who I’ll become if I stay with him.
Shadow removes his hand from my hair and turns me over so I’m staring into those overcast eyes. Instead of the hatred and rage from earlier, they’re heated with something more volatile. It’s like they’re mirroring the ferocious longing clawing at my chest.
More tears stream down my cheeks.
Dealing with the unfeeling monster is easier than this version. The deep care on his handsome features make me question my own damn sanity.
“Tell me you want me.”
I want to say ‘I don’t’ just to drown in my denial, but the gentle edge of vulnerability in his expression stops me short.
It seems like I hurt him. Perhaps as deeply as he hurt me.
If the roles were switched and I found out he staged his death to escape me, that would draw a hole in my heart.
I reach out a tentative hand to his face. Shadow clutches it, expression guarded. His ink flexes with the motion, and I can’t help admiring the hard ridges of his arms.
“I just want to touch you,” I say in a soft tone.
His expression is still cautious, but he lets my palm connect with the slight stubble on his cheek. He’s warm and big and so utterly male.
I missed this submerging warmth so much.
His jaw clenches, but there’s also the slightest softening. Was he touched like this before?
Instead of answering him with words, I lean over and seal my lips to his. My kiss is much gentler, tentative, like the first time I kissed him. Unlike then, Shadow kisses me back.
It goes from soft to heated in a fraction of a second.
Shadow’s mouth claims mine. His tongue finds refuge inside and he devours my lips, my air, and my fucking sanity.
I’m supposed to think about the repercussions. I’m supposed to listen to that voice at the back of my head.
I don’t.
Shadow has ruined everything I’ve been trying to build in the past two months.
“Why did you find me? I hate you,” I whisper against his mouth and bite his lower lip until a metallic taste explodes on my tongue.
I want to hurt him as much as he’s confusing me. I want to consume him as much as he drives me crazy.
Shadow gathers a handful of my arse and pulls me closer to him. “I despise you, too, beautiful.”
He shoves my legs apart and his rough, calloused fingers trail a path between my thighs until he’s teasing my sensitive folds. My head tips back with a deep-throated moan as my body moulds into his.
Still teasing me, his other hand shoves the straps of my nightgown down my shoulders. My heavy breasts spill from their confinements and his hot lips find my throbbing nipples. He bites so hard, a shot of electricity shoots between my legs. He licks the assaulted skin, sending jolts of ecstasy through me. I’m barely getting used to the sensation when he bites again. Harder.
My head tips backwards in a wordless cry as I clutch his shoulders for balance. He repeats the same unravelling sensation over and over again on both my breasts. Pleasure and pain. On constant repeat. Until I’m sure I’ll either come over or come apart.
“S-stop… please.” My breathy words are barely audible as I hopelessly try to push away at his shoulders.