sits across from me in her office with that flannel blanket on her knees and takes a sip from her tea, appearing deep in thoughts.
“Sometimes.”
I sip my own tea while dealing with a splitting headache. I cut down on Omega and those elf bitches take the chance to dig into my head. Good luck trying to conquer my head, bitches.
Ghost’s words from two days ago have gotten to me. Not to mention that he’s been surveilling me.
It’s one thing to be called hollow, but it’s entirely another to feel like someone with no purpose or need in life. Like I could die any second and no one would miss me.
Except for Ghost and Nonna.
Maybe that’s why I don’t want them to see me as an empty box.
Nonna’s thin lips pull in a faint smile. “I still believe that my Angelo is there somewhere.”
“What if he isn’t?”
“Listen here, boy. Since you refuse to tell me, I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I sense my Angelo in the room, so give him back.”
I smile faintly. “Angelo was Rubbish Boy. He reminds me of the weakness, the cold, and being beaten up to bloody unconsciousness. I refuse to be that weakling again.”
Nonna stands and approaches me with measured steps. She holds my face in her wrinkled hands and gives me a stern look. “Being beaten up isn’t bad. It means you survived and continue surviving, but this?” She taps my forehead. “Building walls in your mind doesn’t mean you’re strong. It means you’re hiding.” Nonna offers her warm smile that’s full of nostalgia. “My Angelo might not have had the physical strength, but he never backed down or hid and always remained strong.” She smacks me on the shoulder. “Give him back.”
I lower my head and focus on the old tiles, unable to look her in the eyes. I don’t know how to fulfil her wish. I’ve been Shadow for as long as I can remember. Any other route seems too late now.
How can someone fill themselves up after being at peace with the emptiness?
The void meant feeling nothing. Fucking nix. I was able to kill and have fun without bothering with the consequences. Now, I’m supposed to erase that and start anew?
Start where? With fucking emotions?
I don’t do those. I can quit Omega – if I want to, but then what? I won’t be as efficient without that drug pumping through my veins.
“Where’s Zoe?” Nonna asks from her seat.
The mere mention of her name puts me in a darkened mood. She’s been true to her words and erased me as if I didn’t exist. Add Mist’s meddling and I don’t even get to see her in the main club anymore.
I couldn’t give two fucks about seeing Zoe. She started this whole mess by digging her nose where it didn’t belong.
“Don’t know,” I tell Nonna. “Don’t fucking care.”
“Language!” Nonna would’ve swatted me if she were in reaching distance.
I grin.
“She was supposed to come today to read for the children.” Nonna sips her tea and sighs.
“As long as I’m here, she probably won’t show up.”
She appears thoughtful for a moment. “When my Giovanni angered me, he bought me something nice and I didn’t have the heart to stay mad at him. Give her a present. She might forgive you.”
“I don’t need her forgiveness.” I stand. “Call her and tell her I’m gone. She’ll show up.”
“Wait.” She rounds the table and takes her time in sticking a key into a drawer’s ancient lock. Mental note: change Nonna’s locks.
She retrieves the box that contains the necklace. Before I can roll my eyes and refuse her yet again, Nonna raises a hand, shushing me.
“I’ve been asking around in jewellery shops, in hope to know who could’ve bought this.”
“Nonna…”
“Don’t interrupt me, boy.” She wiggles the box at me. “The bad news is that all of them agreed this is custom made, probably in someplace in the meditarrenian. This jewel apparently costs millions, Angelo. All the ones I showed them the necklace wanted to buy it.”
“Nonna, I really don’t give a fuck about those people.”
When she doesn’t shout ‘language’ immediately and continues staring with glimmering eyes, I regret it.
“I finally know that,” she says through a sigh. “But you should also know it shaped who you are.”
Yeah. Whatever.
Nonna trudges to me and stuffs the box in my hand. “You can give this as a present to Zoe so she’d forgive you.”
For a second, I imagine the necklace around Zoe’s neck and against her pale complexion. She’ll always