“She doesn’t need your protection, old hag. She can fend for herself just fine.” I motion at the burning wound in my neck. “Do you know if she has been through some shit?”
She folds her arms under her chest and spares me a condescending glare. “Even if I do, why would I tell you?”
Of course, she’d say that. She lives to antagonise me. “Once an old hag, always an old fucking hag.”
She points a finger at my chest. “Leave my girls out of your selfish existence. If you want to crash and burn, do it alone.”
With another pointed glare, she leaves.
I’ll find out what happened to Zoe on my own.
Now that I have her in my sights, I won’t leave her alone. She should’ve never given me a taste, now I’m craving more.
She calls me a monster.
Well, monsters are never fucking satiated.
Chapter Eleven
I stirred a monster and he’ll stop at nothing to destroy me.
My hand trembles even though my arm is interlaced with Scar’s as I descend the stairs to Le Salon’s club area. I’m wearing a simple unflattering black dress while Scar is in a fuchsia pink gown that barely reaches the middle of her thighs.
Since that encounter with Shadow a week ago, Scar hasn’t left my side. She hasn’t allowed me to be alone with Natalie either because, in Scar’s words, she’s a weakling.
No idea if Mist put Scar to the task of being my bodyguard or if Scar can even protect me, but I keep hanging onto her arm anyway. She seems like my only shield, and I need a damn shield.
Who would’ve thought someone like me would need protection. I was arrogant to believe I used to be Elle’s protector. I could be Liam’s shield, too.
But now…
My gaze meets Shadow’s mischievous one. He’s sitting in the dim corner of the bar, but because I’m hyper aware of him, I can still make him out. His posture is neutral and both his biceps rest on the bar showcasing the snarling tigers. Once he has my attention, his lips pull in a slow grin. I’m frozen by the amount of darkness a smile can show. His is so fucked up and chilling to the bones.
Sometimes, I wonder if I’m the only one who sees the monster behind his eyes.
He taps his neck where I bit him. Unlike me, he doesn’t bother to bandage it as if he’s wearing it as a badge.
I scowl at him, but my hold tightens around Scar’s arm. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. I should be avoiding him. He proved to be sick and unhinged in the storeroom, but what’s the point if he’s already gotten under my skin?
For the past nights, all I could dream about was wrestling with him and kissing him until I taste blood. Every morning, I wake up wet.
Apparently, I’m sick, too.
I knew it from my days with Nick. His gentleness just wasn’t doing it. I had orgasms, but they weren’t enough. Never enough. When I begged him to go harder on me, Nick looked at me with so much disgust that still fills me with shame.
All I keep thinking about since Shadow trapped me in the storeroom is how far we would have gone if he didn’t force me on my knees. A twisted part of me craves the depravity he offers. Maybe it’s also because of that part that I stare at the marks he engraved on my neck in the mirror. The depraved longing I see in the mirror shames me.
The reason why I need a shield isn’t to keep Shadow away, it’s to protect myself from these endless temptations crowding my head.
“Ignore him,” Scar whispers as she throws a passing customer her sweetest smile. “The more you stare at him, the more he won’t leave you alone.”
I don’t think he’ll ever leave me alone.
Mist assured me that she won’t let him do anything to me. Julian takes Shadow away every day. Scar never spends whole nights outside our room anymore.
All that isn’t enough.
He’ll find a chance and he’ll corner me.
My nerves are snapping all over the place. I can’t tell if I’m dreading or anticipating that moment. The line is blurring and I have no idea what to do.
I wish Elle were here so I could hug her to death. She’s not good at any type of comforting, but her presence is enough to wean the chaos running rampant in my head.