but Shadow keeps taking several twists until people become fewer.
The entire time, my body is turning into a ball of fire. The more I focus on the flexing of his bicep and the easiness with which he handles the mare, the harder my breathing turns. My nipples tighten and throb against my bra and thin top.
I clear my throat to delude the silence and hopefully the tension. “I never took you for the type who rides horses.”
“Neither did I,” he says thoughtfully. “I’m a fast learner.”
Wait. He learnt this for Nonna’s sake? I purse my lips. That doesn’t humanise him. Nope. Not one bit.
“Have you considered maybe fast learning how to stop being selfish?” I mock. Even if deep inside, I think he cares about Nonna and those children.
“Why would I do something so boring?”
“Because you’d want to be a better human?”
“That’s even more boring.” He gives me a condescending stare. “You’re one of those who believe in world peace rubbish?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Delusions. That’s what’s wrong.”
“There’s nothing wrong with striving to be the better version of oneself.”
My voice rises. I’m doing all this because I want to be better. I can’t be a good officer or a decent person until I purge all this vengeful energy out of my system.
“Aye, Mother Teresa.” He mocks.
“What? Everyone would want that.”
“I’m not everyone.”
“Obviously.”
The grey of his eyes is clear, and for some reason, that soothes me. “You shouldn’t be everyone either. Be yourself, everyone else has their own shit.”
“You mean, everyone else is taken?”
“My version is better.”
I smile despite myself. “You can’t change a quote because you have a better version.”
“Sure I can.”
“Do you twist everything around?”
He’s grinning wide. “Whenever fucking possible.”
“You’re weird.”
“Aren’t we all?”
No. He’s more than the normal weird. And it’s pulling me in, dammit.
We bicker some more about how he can’t change quotes. He can only steal them. I do that to Elle all the time.
Shadow thinks idioms and quotes are nonsense if they’re preserved like they are. We have more versatile language now, so we should spice them up.
When we head back to the stable, I actually feel a certain comfort. Ever since I came into Le Salon, I hadn’t felt as carefree as I did on this ride, and it’s thanks to the overbearing person behind me.
He hops from the horse and offers his hand to help me. My chest flutters at the look in his overcast eyes. They’re too heated, but also unreadable.
I suck in a deep breath, but before I can place my hand in his, the mare neighs and moves. I lose my balance and shriek while falling. Large hands clutch me by the hips. My hands land on his broad shoulders as my feet touch the ground.
Shadow doesn’t remove his clutch on my hips. My top hunches up and his thumbs glide over my naked skin. My nipples throb and the sensation travels down my thighs.
His stormy gaze roams all over my face with so much intensity. He looks like he wants to fuck me then hurt me. Or maybe fuck me and hurt me at the same time.
A guttural moan lodges at the back of my throat.
My heartbeat pounds in my throat, and my lids fight to flutter close. My lips tingle with anticipation until I taste it. Shadow’s breaths tickle the side of my neck, and I can feel his lips hovering inches away from the skin.
He’s a monster, Zoe. Your father is a monster.
Mum’s voice snaps me back to reality.
I push Shadow away, my voice is as small as a mouse’s. “I can’t.”
His inquisitive gaze studies me like he’s trying to rip his way inside my head and fish for answers. Honestly, I wouldn’t put anything above him.
He wants to know why and if I don’t give him something convincing, he’ll continue to burst my walls open and wreak havoc.
Someone like Shadow doesn’t seem like the giving up type. He’ll become a danger if he finds out that I’m only here for a specific purpose. Getting entangled in someone as lethal as him is a risk to my mission.
I blurt out the first thing that I always used to push men away, “I have a boyfriend.”
Shadow’s hands drop from either side of me. A part of me is disappointed. My empty body craves his.
He turns and heads out of the park.
I know it’s good for both of us, but when he doesn’t even give me a fleeting glance, my heart tugs.