close. The thought of her carrying my child springs a jolt of primitive desire.
My thrusts turn harder and faster as I drive her into orgasm. I follow right after. My release is the wildest I’ve ever had. It’s almost comparable to the first time I had her – almost. This one is nothing like an orgasm and more like a realisation. A fucking light bulb going off in my head.
I, Shadow, Rubbish Boy, who never had anything belonging to him has this woman and a mini human being that I hope as fuck looks like his mother.
Zoe collapses against me, arms encircling my waist. Our heavy breaths mingle together and fill the silence of the room. A sheen of sweat covers our skin and her citrus scent is all I can smell and taste.
She lifts her head and leans her chin against my chest. Her cheeks are crimson. I missed a few smudges of blood when I wiped her. Her eyes are puffed out from so much crying, but their green drips with affection that knots my heart.
“I love you.” Her words drift in a whisper, but the emotions behind them roar loud. “Don’t go.”
If there’s a moment I can freeze, then this will be it. I want this to be on fucking repeat.
I tuck a rebellious strand behind her ear and try to wipe the blood off her cheek. It won’t come off and I fucking hate the sight of blood near her. That filthy stuff is for people like me, not her.
“Remember when you told me I’m a hollow monster?”
Her lips twist. “That was before. I –”
“I know.” I cut her off. “You were right. I was a monster, and I sure as fuck was hollow that I only cared about myself. But guess what?”
She shakes her head violently, her voice on the verge of breaking. “I don’t want to guess anything. I want you to stay.”
I steal a quick kiss from that pouting mouth. “You filled me up, Zoe until I have no fucking room even for myself. So whatever happens.” I take her hand and place over my heart. “You will always be here.”
“If you leave.” She threatens even though her lower lip trembles. “I’ll find myself another man.”
My mood blackens and I see fucking red. The possessiveness returns with a choking hold. The idea of her with another man sickens me and calls for that primal savageness in me.
“Keep it up, beautiful. Just be ready to feel guilty when I kill the sorry fuck.”
“Then don’t go!” She hits my chest. “Stay. Please.”
Hearing her beg and not being able to do anything about it is like bleeding with no way to stop the haemorrhage. So I result to bargaining. “If I don’t do this, it’ll come back and haunt us.”
“If we tell President Joe, he’ll help.” Her arms are like steel around my waist, even though she’s trembling.
“It’s not only about that. I have an account to close with Ink so he wouldn’t bother me in the future. He’s a sorry fuck who holds a grudge. If I don’t repay him for the disciple I killed, he’ll sooner or later come after me, after you. I’ll never put you at risk, Zoe.”
She shakes her head again, and this time, tears stream down her cheeks and into her mouth. “I’m pregnant!” She shouts as if it’s her last resort. “I'll hate you forever if you leave me this way. I swear.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about the pregnancy before.”
“I didn’t know how.” She sinks her fingers into my flesh and shakes. “I’m telling you now, so please don’t leave us.”
“As long as I have breath in my lungs, I’ll never leave the two of you. I promise.”
“But you’re leaving now!”
“To protect you both.” I wipe her tears with the pads of my thumbs and grin, trying to lighten the mood. “You look hideous when you cry.”
She wraps her arms tightly around my torso and buries her head in my chest. “I’m not letting you go. Ever.”
With a deep sigh, I wrap my arms around her, too.
Just one more time, I tell myself as I take her again and again.
Zoe didn’t let me go, but she fell asleep. For real.
I almost feel sorry for how much she fought it. She even wanted to make coffee, but afraid I’ll disappear, she never got up from my lap. However, she’s a deep sleeper, so I was able to slip easily from underneath her.