Shadow of The Fox (Shadow of the Fox #1) - Julie Kagawa Page 0,87
to fall asleep tonight. Because I know you’re there.” She wrinkled her nose as a snore came from the slumbering ronin near the fire pit. “If baka-Okame doesn’t keep me awake, that is. Good night, Tatsumi-san.”
I didn’t answer. After a while, her breaths became slow and deep as she drifted into unconsciousness.
For a moment, unseen by condemning human eyes, I gave in to my fascination and let myself look at her. Her pale skin seemed to glow in the moonlight slanting through the latticed windows, her hair an inky curtain across her back and shoulders. She breathed calmly, her face unguarded in sleep, as it was when she was awake. A jet-black strand of hair came loose to fall into her eyes, and I was filled with an incomprehensible urge to brush it back.
Disgust set in, and I turned away, clenching a fist on my leg. Why was I finding myself so distracted lately? I knew my mission—retrieve the scroll at any cost, and return to Lady Hanshou. But here I was, with this girl and now an uncouth ronin, having promised not to leave.
For just a moment, I wavered. For a heartbeat, my guard was down, and disgust flared into a burning, instant rage. I was suddenly filled with the overwhelming desire to leap up and slay my useless companions, to strike them down while they slept and watch their blood gush over the floor and sizzle in the fire pit.
Soundlessly, I rose and stepped into the room, my hand on the hilt of my sword. My shadow fell over the girl, slumbering peacefully on her mattress. It would be easy, I thought, gazing down at the back of her neck, so exposed and vulnerable in the moonlight. Neither of them would realize they were dead until they woke up as yurei, or in the next land, and then I would be free to seek the scroll on my own. I didn’t need the girl to find what I was looking for, nor did I need to keep my promises. I was the Kage demonslayer and the Shadow Clan’s best shinobi. Honor and human lives meant nothing to me.
My hand tightened on the hilt of the blade, and I began drawing it from its sheath.
No, Hakaimono! Enough!
Wrenching control from the demon, I shoved Kamigoroshi back in its sheath and lurched away from the sleeping girl. Staggering outside, I pressed a palm to my face, breathing hard as I struggled to clear the rage and bloodlust from my mind. Hakaimono fought me, unwilling to give up, fury and violence still singing through my veins. Closing my eyes, I recalled the mantra my sensei taught me, chanting it like a sutra in my head.
Be nothing. You are not a person; you are a weapon. A weapon does not feel. A weapon has no emotions to hinder or slow it down. Feel nothing. Regret nothing. You are but a shadow, empty and soulless. You are nothing.
“I am nothing,” I whispered, and sensed Hakaimono’s presence fading from my mind. “I am a weapon in the hands of the Kage. I will not betray them or fail my mission.”
When I opened my eyes, I was fully in control. The anger, confusion and doubt had been purged from my body, leaving me with a cold realization. I could not afford to lower my guard, to allow anything, or anyone, to distract me. Hakaimono had relinquished the fight for now, but this had been a chilling reminder of what was at stake. I’d stopped myself in time, but if the sword had tasted blood, I might have slaughtered the entire village before the demon was satisfied, starting with the very girl I was supposed to protect.
Yumeko. I narrowed my eyes. Yumeko was a distraction: intriguing, confusing and dangerous. I didn’t know why she affected me so much, but it couldn’t go on. Hakaimono had been biding its time, luring me into a false sense of security, before attempting to seize control. It had almost worked. I could not let that happen again.
A soft chime cut through the silence.
I looked up. A monk stood in the road that snaked past the house, his form hazy and blurred in the moonlight. He wore black robes, a wide-brimmed straw hat and carried a staff with four metal rings dangling from the top. Exactly as Yumeko had said. Without taking his eyes from me, he raised his staff, pointing it down the path...and disappeared.