In the Shadow of the Crown - By Jean Plaidy Page 0,53

ever possessed to receive his son when he came into the world. The bed was French and had come to him through the Duc d'Alençon as a ransom when he had been my father's prisoner.

It was a long and arduous labor. Seated with others in the chamber adjoining that in which she lay and of which the door was open, we could hear her groans of agony, and at each one I have to admit I exulted.

“Oh God,” I prayed, “let this be her last. Let her die… and the bastard with her.”

I seemed to see my mother's face admonishing me. “The woman is in labor. My child, you have no notion of what this means. She suffers pain such as you cannot imagine. Did not Our Lord teach us to be merciful?”

Merciful to that woman who had deprived my mother of her health, strength and happiness? How could I? I was honest at least. Desperately I wanted her dead. Somewhere in my heart, I believed that if a benign God— benign to us, of course, not to her—would arrange her death, all would be well between my parents.

The King did not come to see her. He knew that as soon as the child appeared he would be told.

Through the night we sat. The next day dawned. I shall never forget that day—September. It must have been between three and four o'clock in the morning when I heard the cry of a child.

Breathlessly I waited, angry with God for not answering my prayers. They were alive—both of them. Anne Boleyn had given the King the child for which he craved.

And then the news. My heart began to sing. A girl! I wanted to laugh out loud. My mother had done as well as that. She had given him a girl—myself. And he had gone through all this for the sake of another! It was a joke. Hysterical laughter bubbled up within me.

How was she feeling now, the concubine? Witch that she was, this was something she could not achieve.

And the King? How was he feeling? He would be realizing now that his efforts had been in vain.

The Countess had not been allowed to accompany me, and I was desolate without her. There was no one whom I could trust as I did her, and I was old enough to know how easily I could commit some indiscretion which could do me great harm.

I did, however, see Chapuys, the Emperor's ambassador. I believe my father would rather have kept us apart but he could hardly do that without arousing hostile comment, and probably at this time he was feeling too frustrated to give much thought to it.

“The King is bitterly disappointed,” Chapuys told me. “He cannot altogether hide it, although at her bedside he told her that he would never desert her. But that in itself betrays that the thought of doing so must have entered his mind. They will have more children, he said, sons… sons… sons. She is still the Queen but his eyes stray and it seems there are others.”

“But for so long he sought her! She was the only one for him all those years.”

“It may be that now he regrets what he had to pay for her. He has taken great risks, and we do not yet know what will be the outcome of that. But what I have to say to you is this: You are the Princess of Wales but there is now another whom he might try to put ahead of you.”

I was aghast. “He cannot!” I cried.

“He can and if it is possible he will. You must be prepared.”

“What can I do?”

“We will wait and see.”

“What of the Emperor?” I said. #x201C;Why does he stand aside and see my mother and me treated thus?”

“The Emperor watches. He cares what becomes of you. The King's actions toward you are an insult to Spain, but the Emperor cannot go to war on that account. The time is not ripe, and the French and English are allies to stand against him.”

I covered my face with my hands.

“Be prepared,” he said.

I remembered those words when I was told I must attend the christening of the child, this Elizabeth, my half-sister who was destined to plague me in the years to come.

IT WAS FOUR DAYS after her birth—four days of bitter foreboding for me. Why had I been submitted to this extra torture? Why did I have to see honors showered on her? Wasn't it enough that