In the Shadow of the Crown - By Jean Plaidy Page 0,216

ready to agree. If only he would come!

He had so many commitments now, he wrote. As soon as it was possible, he would be with me. It was only duty which kept him from me! Duty! Paying homage to beautiful women in Brussels! Was that duty?

I was told that Ruy Gomez da Silva had told our ambassador that Philip could not come because his astrologer had prophesied that, if he returned to England, he would be assassinated. Therefore he felt it wiser to stay away. After all, the Spaniards had been treated rather badly when they were in England. They had been shunned almost everywhere; they had been robbed and often attacked. It was small wonder that the King was inclined to listen to his astrologer.

I was ill… sick with disappointment. My women were anxious about me. They thought of everything they could do to amuse me for a while, but I was not amused. Even Jane the Fool could not bring the slightest smile to my lips.

I was with Susan and Jane Dormer one day when they began to chide me for my listless attitude. I was not eating enough; I was staying in my apartments, brooding.

“It will be different when the King returns,” I said.

“Your Majesty should try to enjoy what is here for your pleasure.”

“My heart is with my husband,” I replied.

“You must know that.”

“But he does not come, Madam,” said Jane Dormer sadly.

“He has too much with which to occupy himself.”

I caught a glance which passed between them. Susan's lips were a little pursed. Jane lifted her shoulders slightly. It was as though Jane were asking a question. I distinctly caught the faint shake of Susan's head.

“What have you heard?” I demanded.

Jane flushed scarlet. Susan was more self-contained.

She said, “I doubt little that Your Majesty does not already know.”

“Then why is it that you have decided not to tell me?”

They opened their eyes wide and looked at me, assuming innocence. But I knew them well, and I guessed there was something they were keeping from me.

“Susan…Jane…” I said.

“Have you joined the ranks of my enemies?”

“Your Majesty!”

“You are hiding something from me.”

“But Your Majesty…”

“Susan, what are you afraid to tell me?”

“Oh … it was nothing. Just idle gossip.”

“Concerning me.”

They were silent.

“And the King… was he concerned?” I persisted.

Susan bit her lip. “It is all nonsense. There will always be rumors.”

“And these rumors?”

Susan looked at Jane and Jane at Susan. It was Susan who spoke. “They are saying that the King will never come back.”

“Why should he not?”

“They are saying, Your Majesty, that he prefers to be somewhere else.”

There was silence. Jane fell to her knees and, taking my hand, kissed it.

“Oh, Your Majesty,” she said earnestly, “I wish all could be well with you. I pray he will come soon and show how he loves you… and that there will be a child.”

“I pray for it, Jane.”

“I, too, Your Majesty,” added Susan.

I looked at her. There was an expression of infinite sadness on her face. I had known Susan for many years. She was one of those most dear to me. I trusted her. I knew of her love and devotion.

“You do not believe that he will come, Susan,” I said. “And you know something which you are afraid to tell me.”

She could not dissimulate. She was my honest, open Susan.

She drew a deep breath and said, “There are rumors. But there are always rumors.”

“And these rumors? Come. Since they are only rumors, we need not believe them if we do not wish to.”

“That is so, Your Majesty.”

“Then tell me what you have heard. It is not good that I should be kept in the dark.”

“Your Majesty has suffered. Only those of us who have been near you know how much. I cannot bear to see Your Majesty suffer… and to remain deluded.”

“Deluded? What of these rumors? They concern the King. You must tell me.”

Still she was silent.

“Susan,” I commanded. “Tell me.”

“There are women, Your Majesty. The Duchess of Lorraine is his mistress.”

I tried to smile. I heard myself saying, “The King is a man, Susan. It is the way of men. I am not there. He wants me, of course. I am his wife. But we are separated. We should not take these women any more seriously than he does.”

I was amazed at myself, surprised that I could speak calmly when I was seething with jealousy within. It was hard to pretend. He should be faithful. We were married. We had taken our sacred vows. But