In the Shadow of the Crown - By Jean Plaidy Page 0,159

of this, and they would not dare to harm you.”

“They might by subtle means.”

“There is a possibility. But your servants love you and guard you well. They pray, Princess, for the time when you mount the throne and sweep away this evil which has taken possession of the land.”

“You are telling me I must stay.”

“It is your decision, Princess.”

“Dubois will be here soon,” I reminded him.

“You could tell him you were not prepared to go…just yet.”

“After all the preparations!”

“The Emperor will try again if he is really in favor of your escape.”

“You think he is not entirely so?”

It was then I learned that the Emperor had hesitated because he feared he would have to provide me with a household and that I should be a drain on his exchequer.

I said, “The Emperor was ever a careful man. It is the reason why he is the richest and most powerful man in the world.”

“That may be so, Princess. But would you wish to be a burden…one he might shoulder reluctantly?”

“What then, Sir Robert? Are we to tell Dubois when he comes with his grain that I will not go?”

“That is for you to say, my lady Princess. The decision is entirely yours. If you decide to go, rest assured that I will do all I can to assure your safety. It is for you to say whether you will risk staying here in order to gain your kingdom, or whether you will take an equal risk and give it away to those who would destroy it in the eyes of God.”

I wanted to be alone to think. He had reduced me to a terrible state of indecision.

I spent a restless night. I did not sleep at all. Rochester was right, I told myself. I would be throwing away my heritage if I left. I had soothed my conscience by telling myself I would return and win my kingdom when it was mine by right. But how could I do that? With the Emperor's help? Had the Emperor come to save my mother when she was in dire distress? Would not his continuing commitments demand all his attention, all his forces? That was how it had been in the past. Would it change? The Emperor would certainly wish to see the true faith returned to England, but how far would he be prepared to risk his forces to bring it about?

I had to be realistic. I had to rely entirely on my own judgement. I was in danger here. I was in constant fear that one day or night some assassin would make an end of me. I would continue to live in fear. But should I be safe in Flanders? Had not my father sent assassins abroad to try to kill Reginald Pole? They had not succeeded but they might have done so.

Let me look truth in the face. God had put me in this position. I could perform a great mission if I lived. My life was in God's hands. If He wished me to succeed in this great task, I needed His help. I needed His guidance. To go or to stay? Rochester had made me see clearly that if I went I might save my own life but in doing so lose my kingdom.

I prayed, passionately asking for guidance.

I felt the presence of God beside me, and in the morning I knew what I should do.

SIR ROBERT HAD RECEIVED a letter from Dubois.

He had arrived with the corn, and he and his men had made it known in the town that they were there. That night the water would be high in the river, and that would enable the boat to come right in. It would not be so easy after this night. Because of the tide, it would be reasonable for the boat to be in the most convenient spot at two o'clock. I should not bring too many women with me, for that would arouse suspicion.

Rochester sent a note to Dubois asking him to meet him in the churchyard. If they were seen together, there would be no cause for suspicion as it would be thought they were discussing the consignment of corn.

I saw Rochester before he went.

I said to him, “I have been questioning myself all the night.”

“I know it, Princess, and you have come to the right conclusion. You are too good a Catholic to have come to any other.”

“I have a duty,” I said. “I can do nothing else.”

He took my hand and