Seven Up - By Janet Evanovich Page 0,89

money problem, too. No vig coming in anymore. No money from the cigarette fiasco. Little to no money from The Snake Pit. And now he had no car and no place to live. Correction, he didn't have the Cadillac. He drove away in something. I didn't get a good look at it.

There were four messages on my machine. I hadn't checked them because I was afraid they were from Joe. I suspect the truth is that neither of us is ready to get married. And instead of facing the real issue we're finding ways to sabotage the relationship. We don't talk about important things like kids and jobs. We each take a stand and yell at each other.

Maybe it's just not the right time for us to be married. I don't want to be a bounty hunter for the rest of my life, but I certainly don't want to be a housewife right now. And I really don't want to be married to someone who gives me ultimatums.

And maybe Joe needs to examine what he wants from a wife. He was raised in a traditional Italian household with a stay-at-home mother and domineering father. If he wants a wife who will fit into that mold, I'm not for him. I might be a stay-at-home mother someday, but I'll always be trying to fly off the garage roof. That's just who I am.

So let's see some guts, Blondie, I told myself. This is the new and improved Stephanie. Check out those messages. Be fearless.

I pulled up the first one and it was from my mother.

"Stephanie? This is your mother. I have a nice roast for tonight. And cupcakes for dessert. With sprinkles. The girls like cupcakes."

The second was another reminder from the bridal shop that my gown was in.

The third was from Ranger with an update on Sophia and Christina. Christina had turned up at the hospital with every bone in her hand broken. Her sister had smashed it with a meat mallet to get it out of the cuff. Unable to stand the pain, Christina turned herself in, but Sophia was still at large.

The fourth message was from Vinnie. The charges had been dropped against Melvin Baylor, and Melvin had bought himself a one-way ticket to Arizona. Apparently his ex-wife had witnessed Melvin's berserk attack on his car and had gotten frightened. If Melvin would do that to his car, there was no telling what Melvin might do next. So she had her mother drop the charges, and she made a cash settlement with Melvin. Sometimes crazy is good.

Those were the messages. None from Morelli. Funny thing how a woman's mind works. Now I was bummed because Morelli hadn't called.

I told my mother I'd be there for dinner. And then I told Tina I'd decided not to take the gown. I hung up from Tina and felt twenty pounds lighter. Mooner and Dougie were okay. Grandma was okay. I was a blonde and I didn't have a wedding gown. Overlooking my problems with Morelli, life couldn't get much better.

I took a short nap before heading for my parents' house. When I woke up my hair was doing strange things so I took a shower. After washing and drying my hair I looked like Art Garfunkel. But more. It was as if my hair had exploded.

"I don't care," I said to my reflection in the mirror. "I'm the new and improved Stephanie." It was a lie, of course. Jersey girls care.

I put on a pair of new black jeans, black boots, and a short-sleeved ribbed red sweater. I walked into the living room and found Benny and Ziggy sitting on the couch.

"We heard the shower going so we didn't want to disturb you," Benny said.

"Yeah," Ziggy said, "and you should get your security chain fixed. No telling who might come in."

"We just came back from Louie D's funeral and we heard all about how you found the fruity little guy and his friend. That was a terrible thing Sophia did."

"Even when Louie was alive she was crazy," Ziggy said. "You'd never want to turn your back on her. She doesn't think right."

"And you should tell Ranger he has our best wishes. We hope his arm isn't too bad."

"Was Louie D buried with his heart?"

"Ronald took it straight to the undertaker and they put it in and sewed him up good as new. And then Ronald followed the hearse back here to Trenton for burial today."

"No Sophia?"

"There were flowers on the grave,