See Jane Love - By Debby Conrad Page 0,16

he glanced at her. “Look, I--” But before he could say anything more, a knock sounded at the back door.

“Saved by the bell,” Janie said, and went to open it.

* * * * * * * * * *

A white-haired, elderly woman, as round as she was tall, stood on Janie’s back porch, holding a foil-covered plate.

“Gertie!” Janie threw her arms around the woman’s shoulders and hugged her. “Is that for me?”

The woman winked. “Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. I figured you could use some help in the energy department. Just thinking about all that mind-blowing sex you’re going to be having soon has to have you tired out. I know my heart’s been racing ever since we had that little conversation. In fact, you look a little flushed yourself.”

“Uh, Gertie . . .” Janie slowly tilted her head in Gabe’s direction, as if the simple movement had caused her pain.

“Oh, my!” The woman’s cheeks turned a bright shade of pink as she pushed the plate at Janie. “I didn’t realize you’d already found someone. And here I set up a date for you tonight.” Smoothing her white ringlets away from her cheek, she smiled politely at Gabe, then leaned toward Janie and whispered loud enough for him to hear, “Nice buns. Wherever did you find him?”

Gabe felt his face and neck grow warm. A first for him.

Setting the plate on the counter, Janie pulled the woman inside the house. “Gertie, this is Gabe Montero. Gabe, this is my friend and neighbor, Gertrude Leopold.”

Gabe walked forward, stuck out his hand. “Mrs. Leopold, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Batting her eyelashes like a bashful schoolgirl, she said, “Please, call me Gertie. Everyone does. Gertrude sounds so . . . old-ladyish.” She waved a hand and straightened to her full height of five feet. The poppy-colored dress she wore made her look like a giant beet.

Gabe nodded and dropped her hand. “Gertie, then.”

“So, where did you say you met Janie?”

Glancing at Jane, he said, “We’ve known each other awhile now. We’re sort of related.”

“We’re not related,” Jane butt in. “Gabe is my sister’s husband’s brother.”

“Oh! You’re the ex-con! How exciting!”

“Gertie!”

Gabe caught the look Jane gave her, but the woman either didn’t understand, or chose to ignore her.

“So, how did it go?” Gertie asked, her gray eyes filled with amusement.

Jane squeezed her eyes tightly shut, and Gabe took over. “How did what go?” he asked tentatively.

“Last night. I assume you two did the dirty deed.”

Gabe winced. “The dirty deed?” he mumbled under his breath. The woman had to be eighty, possibly ninety, and here she was talking about sex like it was no different than discussing her varicose veins.

Jane gave him an apologetic look, then turned to her friend. “Uh, Gertie, Gabe and I . . . nothing happened.”

“Why not? What in heaven are you waiting for? The sooner you launch that rocket, the sooner you can write a--”

“Gertie,” Jane said, cutting her off. “Would you like some coffee? Gabe makes terrific coffee.”

“I’ll bet. What else does he do?” the woman asked, running her gaze down the front of him, like he was a piece of meat.

Gabe suddenly thought of the Chippendale dancers. He used to think those guys were the luckiest bastards in the world, but now he wasn’t so sure. Raising his brows at Jane, he waited for her to answer.

“I’m not sure, Gertie. Although I have to admit Gabe’s a great kisser, but that’s as far as it went. He isn’t interested in helping me.”

“Why not?” The woman scowled at him with narrowed eyes. “You’re not gay, are you?”

“No,” Gabe said, punctuating each word, “I’m not gay.”

She sized him up and down as if she were trying to decide whether or not to believe him. “Well, if he’s not interested, he’s not interested,” she said, turning toward Jane and brushing her hands together. “That means you’re free to go out with my gynecologist tonight. Dr. Hubert Epstein. I told him all about your problem and he’s eager to help.”

“I’ll bet,” Gabe mumbled, clenching his fists.

Jane shot him a look. “See, there are decent men left in this world.”

Decent? Gabe rolled his eyes. He had no idea why, but thinking about Jane with Gertie’s gynecologist had him seething inside.

“He’s picking you up at seven,” Gertie said. “Wear something sexy.” And then she headed for the door.

As soon as the woman left, Gabe started in on her. “You can’t be serious! Please tell me you’re not planning on going out with