The Secrets She Must Tell - Lucy King Page 0,55

could have ever imagined. He’d got used to having her around, in his home and in his bed, and he felt her absence like a physical loss. It was more than just the phenomenal sex he missed. He missed her wit and her smile, her wisdom, the way she challenged him and made him face up to things he’d rather ignore, and the conversations that had relaxed and deepened with time. Their relationship might have started out as one of convenience for the sake of Josh but it wasn’t any longer. They knew every inch of each other’s bodies. And minds. He’d trusted her with his secrets and she’d trusted him with hers, her honesty so raw that it had torn at his soul and filled him with even more burning regret that his support had come so late.

Finn had never been in love before. He’d never even so much as thought about it, so he had nothing with which to compare the feelings that were swirling around inside him, feelings that were so intense, so powerful they couldn’t be locked away even if he tried. Nevertheless he was now pretty sure that the way his heart leapt whenever she walked into the room, the unrelenting need, the respect and admiration he had for her, and the hammering desire to protect her and grow old with her met the definition of it. So too did the happiness and sense of rightness that spread through him whenever she entered his head, which was virtually all the time. And when he thought about the shimmering warmth with which he occasionally caught her looking at him and the way her eyes sparkled when she was with him he was equally sure that she felt the same way about him.

Or at least she had done.

Until he’d behaved like an idiot and let her go. Even if he hadn’t realised at the time quite why he needed her, he should have come up with a reason for her to stay. As she’d asked. A request, which, now he thought about it, now he could clearly recall how she’d put it, had been made with the answer she wanted in mind. Of course, it was entirely possible that she had simply wanted to get back to Josh. But equally, what if she’d wanted something else entirely? What if he’d allowed his insecurities to dominate and had overreacted? What if she hadn’t been rejecting him, but the abominable way he’d behaved? More importantly, what might have happened if he hadn’t let her go?

As Finn strode out of the hotel on Tuesday afternoon and climbed into the car he thought with grim determination that there was only one way to find out whether or not he’d ruined things with Georgie for good. And, since he was now through with boxing up emotion and ignoring it, however difficult, he was going to take it.

Finn had texted her earlier to say that he was on his way home and had given her an ETA, but Georgie, who was sitting cross-legged on the sofa and staring into space, couldn’t summon up the energy to care. The last couple of days hadn’t been easy. In fact, apart from the time she spent with Josh, they’d been miserable. She felt so cold, so tired. What with all the thinking she’d been doing about her and Finn, she hadn’t been sleeping too well, and watching out for Josh, who’d started crawling and was constantly getting to places he shouldn’t, was exhausting. This morning she’d barely managed to haul herself out of bed when her son had called for her for the fifth time in as many hours.

Contrary to her expectations, the disappointment and sadness she felt at knowing that the man she’d fallen in love with didn’t exist hadn’t faded. Everything had worsened and then amalgamated and now thrashed around in the pit of her stomach, giving her no respite. The delirious happiness she’d once thought she felt had been nothing but an illusion. The realisation that the secure, loving family unit she craved was as distant a possibility as it ever had been was devastating.

Nothing she did alleviated the gloom. She’d tried writing about how she felt in her journal but the last two days’ pages were blank. She didn’t know where to begin. Going out and getting some fresh air seemed like a huge effort, so she hadn’t bothered. Even venturing onto the terrace presented a mammoth challenge. She certainly hadn’t had