Secrets in the Sand - Carolyn Brown Page 0,21
of himself for saying it just right. “Because I didn’t love you either. I just married you because everyone thought that’s what we should do. You had the wedding planned, and there were all those showers and presents, and I knew I’d be considered a real heel if I backed out of the marriage then. You know who I really loved? I loved Angela Conrad,” he said.
“You’re full of crap,” she said. “You couldn’t love her. She was a nerd, and she’s probably off somewhere with a house full of snotty kids—”
“Angel owns Conrad Oil Enterprises in Denison, Texas,” he said, as clearly as if he were stone-cold sober. “She’s not a nerd and never was.”
“Oh, she’s Angel now, is she? Well, you didn’t love her. You were in love with me from that time we all met at the Dairy Queen not long after graduation,” she reminded him. “Remember how we flirted that night? You came in all sad and downhearted, and I cheered you up.”
“I had just been a big jerk, and you were there.” He shrugged.
“Sure.” Melissa tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “You had the senior blues. Graduation was over. Football season was done. College hadn’t started. We were all scared of change. Why do you say you had been a jerk?”
Clancy didn’t answer for a while. The six beers were wearing off faster than he thought they would, and he wasn’t looking forward to the headache tomorrow morning—even if he did deserve it.
“That whole summer I was seeing Angela Conrad. I was mean to her that night, and I came to the Dairy Queen to hang out with all y’all.” He shrugged again. “I was young and stupid and didn’t realize that Angela was in love with me. Hell, I didn’t even realize I was in love with her.”
Melissa slapped him hard across the face, sobering him even more.
“Don’t hit me again, Melissa,” he warned in an icy tone. “Don’t ever hit me again. I’m just tellin’ you what happened.”
“You bastard.” Melissa stood up and shook the sand off the bottom of her khaki walking shorts. “Were you thinking of her the whole time we were married?”
“Who were you thinking about when you were sleeping with the principal after we were married?” Clancy asked. “At least I wasn’t committing adultery. Guess we’re about even, for what it’s worth.”
“Shut up!” she said.
“Angela got pregnant,” he said. “I came down here that hot August night a week before we were to go to college. I was going to tell her I wasn’t coming back any more no matter what, and she told me she was pregnant with my child. Know what I told her? I didn’t stand beside her and face the wrath of my parents. Oh no, I was the biggest chicken of all time. I told her to marry Billy Joe, and I walked away from her as if she was nothing to me.”
“Why are you telling me this now?” Melissa asked.
“Because you need to know you’re not the reason I’m trying to get drunk tonight,” Clancy said. “I don’t give a damn about you. I’m still in love with Angela—Angel—and she won’t have a thing to do with me, because I ran out and left her. My son was stillborn, Melissa, and I didn’t even care enough to find out until now.”
“Goodbye, Clancy,” she said. “I hope you rot in hell. Does your mother know this? She’s always hoped you and I would get back together. So evidently, she hasn’t got a clue. But she will tomorrow, Clancy. Because if you don’t tell her, I will.”
“Bet you would just love to do that, wouldn’t you?” He laughed heartily. “Go ahead. Tell her. Go down to the weekly newspaper and put it on the front page for all I care. I love Angela Conrad. Always have and probably always will.”
Melissa stomped off in the sand, got into her car, and laid down smoking rubber as she squealed the tires in anger. Clancy pulled his feet from the water and looked at the wrinkled skin while he finished sobering up. So much for getting drunk and singing sad songs tonight, or for shutting the door on his past failures and secrets. But what the hell? At least Melissa hadn’t gone away with a lilt in her step, thinking he was still madly in love with her and he was corroding his liver to prove it.
***
He sat for hours, thinking about Angel, and then