up, remember? We thrive on stress. Our ability to power through is what keeps us one step ahead of the competition.’
I wanted to point out that I used to thrive on stress. Channelling my grief into my work was the very thing that had given me the strength to put in the increased hours, but now my mental as well as my physical energy was spent. I’d had enough and if I was being honest (to myself at least), it wasn’t just my grief that I was struggling with.
More and more often I was having to justify, cover up and even lie about certain so-called celebrities’ lifestyles and behaviours in order to make them an attractive enough proposition to match with our clients, and I didn’t like doing it. The pay cheque my position in the firm afforded me might have given me a fabulous car and an admirable apartment, but what did any of that matter if I couldn’t sleep at night?
‘Look,’ he said, when I didn’t defer to his tough Tyler ethos, ‘maybe you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You dropped the ball this time, but—’
‘Dropped the ball?’ I interrupted.
I knew I sounded indignant but, surely, he wasn’t going to try and pin the footballer’s fall from grace on me?
‘It was his agent who gave him leave to go out and celebrate those goals,’ I said defensively. ‘I had no idea—’
‘But you should have,’ Dad interrupted, ‘and you know it. You should have known his schedule better than your own.’
I bit my lip to stop myself announcing that I was sick of babysitting adults who should know how to behave. This was clearly not the time to try and get my point across. The day was going to be tough enough and I didn’t need to fall out with ‘the boss’ on top of everything else.
‘Well, he’s on a tight leash now,’ I said instead, swallowing down my annoyance. ‘He won’t be straying again.’
‘But you can’t use him for the campaign, Tess,’ Dad countered. ‘The public won’t have an ounce of faith in him now.’
I thought of the elaborate damage limitation plan my team had been working on late the night before.
‘But—’
‘No buts,’ said Dad, holding up his hand before I could explain. ‘We have the Tyler reputation to think of and I know you said not to, but I did make a couple of calls last night. I think Vicky Price might be a possibility.’
‘Vicky . . .’
‘Price. She plays football for England and is available to step in.’
I knew who she was, I just couldn’t believe Dad had ‘stepped in’ when I’d specifically asked him not to.
‘She’s just had her second baby and I thought it would be an interesting twist to have a woman spearheading the project. Her agent was very keen.’
‘Have you approached the advertiser?’ I asked.
‘No, I thought I’d leave that to you,’ he said bluntly, piling the eggs Joan had scrambled on to a plate. ‘Now come on, eat up.’
I couldn’t believe he had gone ahead and done that. Bringing Vicky Price in was an inspired idea, but in doing it he had made me look completely inept.
*
After some cajoling from Joan, I did manage to eat a modest breakfast which was just as well, given the amount of work involved in sorting through Mum’s things. Had my belly stayed empty I would have probably ended up keeling over.
‘Half of this hasn’t even been worn,’ Dad grumbled, as he shifted outfit after outfit into the hanging boxes sent by the charity taking the clothes. ‘These have all still got the labels on.’
He was right and flicking through them I could see the amounts Mum had spent was breathtaking. The charity would make a fortune at the fashion show they were holding later in the year to auction off their very best donated stock.
‘No wonder her credit cards were always stretched to the limit,’ Dad moaned on. ‘Your mother had transformed into a professional shopper.’
I wanted to point out that her retail habit was most likely born out of boredom and all the hours she spent alone, but I didn’t. I had been hoping Dad might have felt able to express his grief once we started going through everything, but watching him move perfunctorily from one packing box to another, I wasn’t sure he felt any. Watching him move swiftly along the rails without a single lingering look made me feel incredibly sad.