A Second Chance in the Show Me State - Jessie Gussman Page 0,25
Maybe then, he’d be willing to take a chance and do the things he knew he needed to in order to have any chance of a future with her.
But whatever emotion Emerson had allowed to be displayed was back under tight rein, and she walked gracefully to the doorway of the kitchen.
Stopping for just a moment, she looked over her shoulder. “That was a long time ago, Reid. We’ve both changed. Let it go. Don’t try to drag the past into the future.”
She paused for just a moment, but he couldn’t get his mouth open before she disappeared into the darkness of the dining room. Five seconds later, he heard the old steps creaking as she walked up them.
He hadn’t accomplished anything except to help her fortify her walls.
Feeling like a miserable failure and also feeling like he wanted to chase after her and beg her to do all the things he wanted her to do, he sat back down in his chair, put his elbows on the table, and held his forehead in his hands.
Lord?
He didn’t have to say anything more. The answer was right there. Right in front of him. He’d always known what he needed to do. If he did it, he was almost certain to get his wife back.
The problem was the thing he needed to do—swallow his pride—was too hard.
Too hard? How badly do you want her back?
God always knew the right questions to ask, didn’t he?
He supposed this was one of those times where Jesus was making an intercession for him with groanings that cannot be uttered, because he had no more words. None.
It was a long time before he pushed away from the table and made his way to his own room.
Chapter 8
Emerson stood beside the kitchen counter the next morning, bleary-eyed, having not slept well, and having not gotten any of the work she’d brought along even out of her briefcase.
She doubted Reid had any trouble at all going to sleep.
In her experience, she had a tendency to ruminate on things, while he just put them out of his mind.
This was probably the first time he’d thought about them and their relationship since she walked out the door years ago.
It hadn’t made him late for the barn work.
He and both boys were already outside.
The coffee quit dripping, and she pulled the carafe out, pouring herself a full cup.
She drank it black.
There were two cups left in the carafe, and she put it back on the warmer. Reid always came in from the barn and drank two cups, with sugar and lots of cream.
She smiled at the memory. He had such a sweet tooth.
He’d always liked her tandy cake. For a second, she was tempted to make one.
Before she remembered that she was angry at him.
Why would she make him a cake?
Because you don’t return evil for evil.
She crossed her arms and turned her back on the counter, like she could turn her back on the little voice in her head, the little voice that sounded suspiciously like the Holy Spirit prodding her to do right when all she wanted to do was nurture wounded pride.
How could the Holy Spirit understand? Jesus never had a girlfriend or a romantic relationship.
But he was betrayed. By people he loved. And then he went on to die to save them.
She gritted her teeth. Why had she read so much Bible?
She wished she didn’t know that. She didn’t like the guilt it produced.
It was much nicer to wallow in self-pity and wrap her anger around her like a self-righteous cloak.
The door burst open, and she steeled herself, not willing to show a soft side to Reid. But it was Houston and Dallas who ran in, slamming the door shut hard enough to rattle the windows and running straight toward her.
She knew she needed to say something about how hard they’d slammed the door, but it was so unusual to have both of her boys wrapping their arms around her waist that she set the coffee on the counter and returned their hugs, savoring the feel of both of her boys in her arms.
They seemed to have so much fun together. Maybe she and Reid should talk about keeping them together for six months, although she didn’t want to be alone for six months of the year while her boys were in a completely different country.
You don’t have to be.
She didn’t want to even hear it.
“Dad said we could do our school tonight while he’s at the single