Second Chance With Me - S. Moose

The Past

A wave of nausea rolls through me. I’m sitting in my car, looking myself in the mirror and chanting, I can do this.

Have you ever been in a situation when you know you should take a leap of faith? You know it needs to be done because something is pushing you, guiding you, to make that decision. That’s where I’m at right now.

My nervousness is making butterflies flutter in my stomach and my palms sweaty. I check my phone and see the message from him.

Clayton: I’m sorry I didn’t go to the right place. Thanks for understanding. I’m inside, and I can’t wait to meet you.

Clayton.

His name is different. Not the typical everyday name you hear. It flows nicely from my lips.

I scroll through the conversation we’ve had for the past week. He’s made me laugh, and he’s sincere from the way he asks me about my day and genuinely wants to get to know me. Some other guys I’ve talked to immediately ask for selfies or nudes and it escalates to something sexual from there.

Not with Clayton.

When I wake up, I have a good morning text from him, and every night I have a sweet dreams text. He seems way too good to be true. I did a little stalking because who wouldn’t in today’s society?

I had to be sure this wasn’t a game, and I wasn’t being catfished. I found him on a few social media sites, and everything he told me was legit. The pictures he posted matched what he sent me, so that was a check yes in the safe column.

I blow out a breath and touch up my infra rose colored lipstick one last time before stepping out of my car and making my way to the coffee shop. I’m standing in front of the door, but I can’t bring myself to walk inside. It shouldn’t be a big deal.

Rebound date.

That’s what this is—a little distraction from the ugliness of my breakup. The reality that my ten-year relationship is over.

It’s hard to imagine the future without the person you’ve experienced life with. From our young teenage years to welcoming adulthood and starting a new stage of our lives.

Six months of missing him.

Six months of crying myself to sleep.

After having a woe is me party for one, I realized I was worth it. I had a lot to offer someone, and I wasn’t going to stay sad. The last few years of our relationship, he started blaming me for his stress and he wasn’t supporting my dreams of becoming a nurse. We were both in college, but when he needed help studying, I was supposed to drop everything and help him. If I was working late or studying at the library, he texted me over and over until I answered. It was usually asking me if I was going to bring home dinner or if I could do the laundry. I was turning into his maid rather than his girlfriend.

Sometimes, relationships run their course, and you learn how to pick yourself up and let go. You tell yourself you’re going to make it through the day, the week, the month, and the year. Reading quotes and listening to music helped me get to where I’m at.

I was always going to love him, and he was always going to hold a piece of my heart, but I wasn’t going to lay around and mope. Life was passing me by, and it was time I took it back into my hands.

I’ve given myself time to go through the stages of grief. A part of me is happy, and the other part of me is scared. I’m a fresh twenty-three-year-old, and my life is only beginning. I have everything in order: a wonderful family, great friends, a degree in the field of nursing, a letter saying I passed the exam, and soon, an interview with one of the top hospitals in the world. It’s still hard to believe. I didn’t think my life would have brought me to this spot. Then again, I didn’t think I’d be single again.

Dear life,

How do you expect me to figure out how to date again? Any advice?

Thanks.

Honestly, I don’t remember how to date and the rules that need to be followed. Are there still rules? Is that a thing?

I don’t have experience in the field of dating since I’ve only had one boyfriend. Everything I knew was before of being with him and watching romance movies and reading books.

I’m taking a chance by

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