A Season of Angels Page 0,10

grief. She'd assumed because her father had lived a long, full life that death would be easier to accept. That hadn't been the case any more than it had been with Jeff, whose death had come without warning.

"I don't mean to be rude, Mom," Timmy continued, burying a green bean deep in his pile of mashed potatoes, "but you can't throw a ball worth a darn and I need to practice. Mr. Dillard said I had a chance of being a really good player someday."

"I see."

"You're not ugly either. I bet there's some man out there who'd be willing to marry you."

Jody had to stop and think about that one. Her son wasn't intentionally insulting her. In his eyes, he'd paid her a high compliment. "I'm sure there is someone who'd be willing to take a chance and marry me," she said after a moment.

"You think so?" How eager he sounded. He scooted to the edge of his seat, propped his elbows against the table, and looked solidly at her. "Could you find and marry him before Christmas?"

"Timmy, be serious, Christmas is less than a month away."

"You mean it'll take longer than that to get me a dad?"

"Yes, I'm sure it will."

"How much longer?"

Jody shrugged, not knowing how to answer. "I . . . I don't know if I'm ready to be married again."

"Why not?" Timmy asked, his eyes wide and innocent. "Rick Trenton told me his mom's been married three times. You've only been married once. I was thinking about that and it doesn't seem right. You're a lot prettier than Rick's mom and she's already had two more husbands than you."

"It doesn't have to do with how pretty a woman is."

"Then what does it have to do with?" He cocked his head to one side, awaiting her answer.

Jody wished she knew. "Marriage is a complicated business." Much more complex than she could adequately explain to a nine-year-old boy who seemed to think she could find a husband on a grocery store shelf. She was about to suggest signing him up for Big Brothers when Timmy buried his fork in his meat and added, "Besides, I was thinking about you having a baby. I've decided I wouldn't mind if I had to share my bedroom. Rick's mom just had another baby and she let me hold him, and you know what, I kinda liked it."

"How does Rick feel about having a little brother?"

"He thinks it's cool, especially since he's got two little sisters. Rick said you don't get a choice if it's a boy or a girl when babies are born. I don't know how I'll feel about a sister instead of a brother, but I decided I'd do what Rick does."

"And what's that?"

"Take what he gets."

Jody set her fork aside, her appetite gone. "That's a mature attitude," she murmured, wondering what she was going to do next. Timmy was serious. He wanted a father. Now he was talking about a brother or sister too.

"Then you'll start looking for a new dad for me?" His big brown eyes studied her carefully as if her decision was a momentous one.

"I'll think about it," Jody said thoughtfully. "Now eat your green beans."

"I already did."

"They're buried in your mashed potatoes," she said, waving her fork at him. "Now eat."

"Aw, Mom."

It wasn't until after nine that night, when Timmy was sound asleep in his bed, that Jody walked over to the bookcase and took out the bulky photo album. She sat in the overstuffed chair that had been Jeff's favorite and held the book against her breast in the dim light.

For several moments she closed her eyes. It had been almost a year since she'd last looked at the pictures. Twelve long months since she'd tortured herself with the memories. Timmy was right. It was way past the time for her to pick up the pieces of her life instead of dwelling in the past. A sob swelled in her throat as she tried to figure out how she was ever going to give up loving Jeff.

"That's Timmy's mother," Gabriel said in quiet, somber tones.

Shirley looked down upon the young mother and her heart ached. "She seems to be crying. What's happened to make her so sad?"

"She's thinking about Jeff, her husband who died," the archangel explained.

"Why does she torture herself this way?" It made no sense to Shirley that this young woman would continue to torment herself with memories.

"Jody is the problem," Gabriel continued. "She continues to hold onto her husband. Before