Searching for Always - Jennifer Probst Page 0,34

to make a deal. Let’s just keep our relationship strictly to the anger management classes and how they pertain to your treatment.”

“Chicken? I bet you’re so used to having everyone open up, no one ever demands the same of you. When was the last time anyone asked you questions about your past? About who you are? About what you want?”

He murmured the last question, and the heat in his seething gaze made her press hard against the door. Her heart thundered in her chest, making it difficult to take a cleansing breath. A strange surge of emotion rocked her normal calm and seeped out. “You don’t know anything about me or my needs,” she hissed out. “I have no trouble opening up.”

“Good, then it’s a deal. I’ll give you the short version. Grew up in a tough Irish neighborhood where boys ended up being cops or firemen. I got jumped at the school bus when I was seven and put in the hospital. My father told me it would teach me a lesson to be either tougher or faster. I made sure I was both, and my training intensified when he began beating the crap out of me and my mother with a baseball bat. I learned how to steal, how to hide in the parks, how to survive, but I never got to save my mother. She died from a nasty fall deemed an accident. I left and dedicated myself to catching bad guys and working out my past karma with my asshole father. Thoughts?”

His speech was thorough and honest, and it broke her heart. Because beyond all that analysis was a little boy who’d never forgiven himself for not being enough. Her intrigue deepened when she realized how much more lurked beneath the surface.

What really freaked her out was how she suddenly wanted to find out.

“You nailed your anger issues and current occupation choice,” she finally answered. “And though my heart breaks for the little boy you were, I’ve heard a bunch of horror stories that ended up far worse than yours. But it’s not your mother you’re still mourning, is it?”

His fingers clenched around the wheel. A dangerous cloud settled over him, holding a tinge of violence Arilyn bet would always be a part of who he was. “What are you talking about?”

Her instincts screamed for her to back off. He wasn’t ready for a bigger truth. And, dear God, neither was she. “Nothing,” she said lightly. They were almost there, and she had a sudden urge to jump out of the car before anything more passed between them. Arilyn had learned that a physical connection was difficult to fight, but an emotional one would destroy them both. “Oh, there’s a spot.”

He remained silent, maybe sifting through her odd answer to his speech. She regretted diving in when neither of them was ready. He pulled into the parking space and turned to face her.

“Thanks so much for the lift, I appreciate it,” she said. “See you tomorrow.”

Her hand never reached the latch.

He moved so deadly fast, she didn’t even sense his movement. His fingers closed around her wrist, holding firm. The controlled grip did something weird to her belly, as if she was helpless under his command.

“Not yet.”

She refused to look at him, keeping her head down. “Umm, I’ll take a rain check, I really have to go.”

“I’ll be quick. Look at me.”

His voice deepened, slowed. An explosion of heat and want slithered in her blood. She turned and met his gaze.

Lust.

No. Not possible.

She caught her breath at the naked desire on his face, in his eyes, as he looked at her. For a second she was caught up in a tidal wave of pure feeling, her usual logic and calm, serene thoughts like a crystal lake suddenly turning into a tsunami of choppy waves and tidal flooding. Her body shook in response to the primitive male need in his eyes. This was nothing but pure hunger at its elemental level.

“You promised an answer to one question.”

Arilyn managed a nod. The words were stuck at the back of her throat, trapped there under his blistering male power.

“What’s his name?”

She blinked. Her voice came out rusty. “Whose?”

“The man who fucked you up. The man who broke your heart. The man who pretended to transcend the physical and lied. Give me a name.”

She opened her mouth to tell him to go to hell. He’d tricked her with his own Jedi mind tricks, forcing her to give up the most

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